“I can’t believe she’s not crying,” Angeni said to Sitka.
“She’s just so excited to see you,” Sitka said. “I’m sure that’s distracting her from any discomfort.”
Angeni felt buoyed by Sitka’s words, but then Freya wouldn’t latch, again, and her unease returned.
“Come on, sweetie,” Angeni said, shifting Freya a bit to try another angle. She headbutted Angeni’s chest, bobbing like a bird, her lips pressed shut.
“Maybe she just needs to be in your arms for a while, to feel your presence, before she’s calm enough to eat,” Sitka said.
Angeni nodded. She wanted to believe Sitka. But it didn’t make sense. Her breasts were supposed to be the ultimate comfort.
“Sitka’s probably right,” Erik said. “Let’s go in, babe.”
Angeni watched a look pass between them, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. They were in on something together. It was possible that they were only joined in a mission to get her to relax, but Angeni couldn’t help but feel something was amiss.
Erik put his arm around Angeni and guided her inside. Her boob was still out of her shirt. Freya put her hands on it like it was a bouncy ball of mild interest.
Inside, Aurora was in the kitchen, prepping something on the stove. When she saw Angeni, she ran to her.
“Oh my god, I’ve been so worried,” she said.
But Angeni could think only of the letter, the probability of Aurora having sent it. Aurora wrapped her arms around Angeni and Freya, the three of their faces pressed together. Angeni’s body, her wise and all-knowing body, went stiff and still. She closed her eyes, tuned in to what her body was telling her.Do not trust this person.That was what it was saying.
“I’m making some butternut squash soup. I thought that sounded nourishing,” Aurora said.
Angeni tried to muster a smile, but couldn’t.
“I used coconut milk. I thought the dairy might be too inflammatory after what your body’s been through.”
“Thanks,” Angeni muttered.
Aurora moved with Angeni and Freya to the couch, Erik and Sitka following behind. They were all hovering over her, their worry palpable.
“Guys, I’m fine,” she said.
She sat on the couch, Freya in her lap. Aurora sat next to her, Erik on her other side. Sitka stayed standing.
“Matt and Jer are bringing in some wood for a fire. Hospitals are so cold. I thought you might need to warm up,” Aurora said.
Was Aurora overcompensating for what she’d done? Was she regretting the letter, how it had sent Angeni to the hospital?
Matt and Jer came in through the kitchen door, wood in their arms. They placed a few logs in the fireplace, the rest in the rack next to it.
“Good to see you, Ang,” Matt said. He lit the fire, and the two of them came to sit next to Aurora on the couch. Their big, questionably happy family.
“Thanks for the fire,” Angeni said. She wanted nothing more than to be completely alone with her baby, but couldn’t disregard basic politeness.
“No problem, Ang. So happy you’re feeling better,” Jer said.
“Babe, what do you need?” Erik asked.
Now she saw a look pass between Erik and Aurora, another look she could not decipher completely, though if she wasn’t mistaken, Aurora looked irritated with Erik. Sitka paced the length of the couch behind all of them, arms crossed over her chest.
“Do you guys think I could have some privacy with Freya? I want to reassure her that I’m back, that everything is safe,” Angeni said.
Aurora nodded effusively, the first to stand from the couch.
“Yes, of course,” she said. “Sitka, do you mind stirring the soup? Erik, can I talk to you briefly?”
