Leigh smiled. “It’s a fave.”
The movie was French, subtitled. Gwen worried she’d fall asleep, but she was pulled into the story immediately. It was set in the late eighteenth century, about a painter named Marianne who is commissioned to paint the portrait of a woman named Héloïse, who is supposed to be married off soon to a wealthy nobleman. She doesn’t want to marry him and refuses to sit for a proper portrait, so Marianne must observe her discreetly and paint without Héloïse knowing. As they spend so much time together, they develop a deep connection. It was so beautiful and sensual that Gwen found herself weeping. When she did, Leigh reached over, took Gwen’s hand in hers. They sat like that, holding hands, until the end of the movie.
The babies were sleeping when the lights came up. There were tear tracks on Leigh’s face—she had cried too.
“I told you it was amazing,” Leigh said. She was still holding Gwen’s hand. Gwen didn’t know what to say. She’d never been moved to tears by a movie before. She was reluctant to stand, unsure her legs would hold her.
One of the theater employees came in with a broom and trash bag. She didn’t acknowledge the presence of Gwen, Leigh, and the babies, just went about her business, going up and down the aisles of the theater in search of a mess.
“She does realize there is nobody in here to make a mess, right?” Leigh whispered.
Gwen chuckled. “She’s being diligent!”
Leigh stood, finally releasing Gwen’s hand to snap Belle into her carrier. A wave of sadness rolled over Gwen at the loss of that hand.
You need nurturing.
It was after four o’clock when they got back to Leigh’s condo. Gwen kept Leigh company in the kitchen as she pulled things out of the fridge for their dinner. The girls sat in Bumbo seats on the floor, gurgling their version of conversation.
“Did the movie outing help get your mind off things?” Leigh asked.
It had, but just the question brought Gwen back to her sadness about returning to work.
“Yeah, it did, thank you,” she said.
“You are such a liar.”
Gwen managed a smile. “I don’t know. I get flooded with all these feelings. I feel like I’ve already let June down so much, and now I’m going back to work. I mean, how could she not feel abandoned? It’s not like she understands what having a job means.”
“Come here,” Leigh said. She extended her arms and pulled Gwen into them. They stood there, holding each other for longer than Gwen had ever stood and held someone.
When Leigh released Gwen, she went to the bench seat at the kitchen table and patted the spot next to her. Gwen sat, and Leigh put her arm around Gwen, pulled her against her body, their heads resting against each other.
“It’ll all be okay,” Leigh said.
After a few moments, Gwen lifted her head, faced Leigh. Leigh was looking at her tenderly, like she truly loved her and cared for her in a way Gwen had never felt cared for before.
Their faces were just a few inches apart, and Gwen found herself drawn toward Leigh, magnetized. She closed her eyes and allowed her lips to find Leigh’s lips. Gwen could hear the blood whooshing in her ears. She kept her eyes closed, kept herself contained in this strange world of darkness where kissing her friend felt good for no reason she could explain. It wasn’t sexual. Gwen didn’t feel any urge or longing for something beyond the kiss. She just wanted to be right here, in this moment.
Leigh didn’t pull back. She moved her lips against Gwen’s. She took Gwen’s top lip in both of her lips; then she did the same with her bottom lip. When Leigh slipped her tongue into Gwen’s mouth, it was sensual and kind, not sloppy and greedy like Gwen had experienced with most of the men she’d kissed in her life. They kissed and kissed, not pausing to try to put words to what was happening.
Gwen had no idea how long it had been when Leigh pulled back suddenly and said “Oh shit” before Leigh even opened her eyes.
When Leigh did open her eyes, she realized why Leigh looked panicked.
Nathan was standing in the front entryway, his work bag at his feet, arms crossed over his chest. It was obvious he’d seen enough.
Leigh jumped to her feet, looking nothing like the confident, assured woman who Gwen knew—the woman who wouldn’t take shit from anyone.
“Ladies,” Nathan said, a punishing monotone.
Gwen knelt down for June, who, picking up on the anxiety in the room, started to cry. Oh, her sensitive baby.
June’s car seat was right by the front door, right next to Nathan. Gwen scurried over, careful not to make any eye contact with Nathan. What could she possibly say? She didn’t understand what had just happened herself; there was no use trying to explain it to him.
As Gwen buckled June into her seat, she waited for Leigh to come to her—their—defense. She waited for Leigh to say, “Gwen, you don’t need to go. We weren’t doing anything wrong.” Because they weren’t, were they?
But Leigh didn’t say anything like that. Instead, she said to Nathan, “I know what you’re going to say. That was totally wrong, I know. Butshekissedme.”
