She said this as if Gwen were not right there, in the room. Gwen looked at her friend, craving some eye contact that saidI’m just telling him what he needs to hear; call you later. But Leigh wouldn’t meet her eyes.
There was one more humiliating necessity—grabbing the diaper bag from the living room. She tiptoed out of the kitchen, as if playing along with this ridiculous notion that she wasn’t there at all. She got the bag and then tiptoed back to the car seat, lifted June, and left, closing the door behind her. As the door clicked shut, she heard Nathan say, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
June cried as Gwen took her to the car, and she cried the entire drive home. Not even the motion of the car, the white noise of the roads, could get her to settle.
When Gwen arrived back at her house, the house that was once their dream house and now just seemed like a ball and chain, she parked in the driveway and checked her phone. She expected a text from Leigh, but there was nothing. She decided to send one herself.
Hey. Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. You were right—it was all my fault. I think the movie got to me? I hope we can put it behind us
She felt stupid after sending it. Leigh had taken her to that movie. Leigh had participated in the kissing. It was an emotional day. She was vulnerable. She needednurturing.
She waited for Leigh to respond, to tell her not to worry about it, that Nathan had calmed down after she explained things. She stared, willing the three dots to appear. Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
She rested her forehead on the cushioned steering wheel and began to sob. June had finally stopped crying but then ramped up again upon hearing her mother sobbing. Soon, they were both wailing, as if in competition with each other.
“Gwen?”
She lifted her head to see Jeff, sweet Jeff, at her window, his fingers tapping on the glass. She opened her car door.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asked.
He looked into the back seat.
“Is June okay?” he asked.
“She’s fine,” Gwen said.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked again.
“I don’t know,” she said. She did know, but she couldn’t possibly tell him. He wouldn’t understand.
“Come on,” he said, taking her two hands in his.
He helped her out of the front seat, and when he went to get June from the back, Gwen glanced at her phone again.
Nothing.
“Let’s get you two inside, okay?” he said.
He walked ahead of her with June, but she stood still. She felt unable to move.
“Babe?” he said. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, told him what she knew he wanted to hear: “I’m just having a really hard day.”
He set June’s car seat on the ground. June had already stopped crying, likely comforted by the presence of Jeff, a sane adult. Jeff put his arms around Gwen, pulled her into him.
“We all have hard days,” he said.
Poor Jeff—he had no idea what he was up against.
Chapter 26
Angeni Luna
