Fear had ruled so much of my life. It was time to let hope have its day.
I waited until Duke had stepped out of his office and into the restroom to make my move.
Ten minutes later, I sat in one of the rooftop chairs, thirty minutes before the start time of our meeting. It had to be now. He had to know my feelings before the meeting. Before my fate, for better or for worse, was known. My leg shook uncontrollably as I waited. My hands didn’t know what to do with themselves but settled on briskly rubbing the tops of my legs. My poor body and mind had run the gamut of emotions, and this, right here, might be what ended me.
If he actually showed up.
Suddenly, a pit dropped into my stomach as I thought of all the possibilities that Duke might not have gone back into his office. What if he went straight into a meeting with Mike and Ryan? What if he never saw the Coke on his desk? What if he was looking for me now, and he couldn’t find me? I leapt up from the chair and strode toward the door. I had to tell him. I had already told Anita off today. I was a freaking lioness coming out of her cage. I’d rip Duke out of his meeting if I had to. I would—
The door to the roof burst open, and all of a sudden, Duke was there. I slowed to a sudden stop when he stepped onto the roof.
Cautious dark eyes met mine as he stopped with a few yards between us. He had rolled his sleeves to his forearms. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his blue suit and waited.
“You must have gotten my message.” That was a lame way to start. I knew this, but I had just envisioned waltzing into a meeting with a bunch of suits and yanking him out. My head needed time to adjust. Time to remember all that I had practiced to say.
“I’m supposed to be in another meeting right now, but I forgot a paper in my office.”
My eyes widened. I’d been right. “I’m so sorry. Do you need to go?”
“Not until you say what you want to say. You’re not getting out of it that easily.”
“Well, I have a whole list, so…” I sputtered out a nervous laugh, folding my arms across my stomach. The nerves hit differently in this scenario. There were only two ways this could end, and one would devastate me. I could admit that now. But there were still so many things I needed to say.
I took a deep breath of courage. “You were wrong before. I do see you, Duke Webber. Seeing you has never been the problem. You make me want to forget every plan I’ve ever made and run away with you. Which is why I’ve tried to keep my distance. You are the most terrifying thing because I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And that kind of life doesn’t happen to me.”
He was listening patiently, his face passive, but I was on a roll, so I kept going. “Things work out for you. Your life is full of good things. You have a kind heart. So kind that I didn’t know what to do with it when you showed it to me. A romantic kind of love was something that never felt real to me. It was a movie. A fantasy. That’s what you are. You’re the fantasy. Not real life. I had to stop thinking I could—Hey! Don’t look at me like—I didn’t mean fantasy like that. Don’t smile. DUKE.”
I waited until he had gained control over his facial expression once more. But my impressive speech had been stalled, and the way he was slowly moving toward me wasn't helping my memory.
“Stop. Please. I have to get this out.” I closed my eyes to finish. “I thought I was mad at you because you paid my bill, but the more I thought about it, it wasn’t that. I hated that my life was so messed up that you thought you had to rescue me. Trusting other people hasn’t been easy for me. But I hated that, in the end, all I could feel was incredibly grateful that you would do something like that for me. But for the record, I will kill you if you do something like that again without asking me. But…” I hesitated, blinking back the emotions sprouting in my eyes. “Thank you for caring so much.”
He ambled another step closer, hands in his pockets, a sexy, smoldering hot man in a suit, before I stopped him. “No! I’m still not done. This next part is what I’m the most scared of. You think you want me, but I’m not what you think I am. I was fun a handful of times. And all of that with you. I feel bad that you might have carried some torch for me all that time and then now you’re seeing the real me. I’m a snooze fest. I’m controlling. I have a mom who acts more like a child. I’m not good at making time for fun.” I folded my arms and sent him a pleading look. “I feel like you keep forgetting all of that.”
“Can I talk now? Are you finished?”
I shrugged, my little heart on pins and needles.
A little smile crossed his face then as he shook his head. “I know exactly who you are, Nora Griffin. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve known. You gave up your childhood so you could give one to your sisters. You have a work ethic like nobody I’ve ever seen. You selflessly give and give until you break. For better or worse.” When I glared at him, he only smiled. “But you also make me laugh. You’re sometimes a wild woman who breaks the rules. You tease and flirt with me even when you try not to. I fell in love with all of those parts of you.”
I wiped at my eyes and looked down at my feet, unable to take the sweetness oozing out of his face. I felt so inadequate, hearing him tell me these things. So wholly inadequately, and completely swept away. And he wasn’t even finished.
“I’ve seen you laugh until you’ve cried. I’ve watched you clean the company toilets. I’ve watched you ride a motorcycle and love it. I saw you help my grandma cheat playing cards.” I sputtered out a laugh, a crying mess of laughter and tears. He continued, “I’ve seen your heart, Kiss Cam. And I must be selfish because I want every bit of it. I have since the night we met.”
Duke spoke again. This time, his words were hoarse and a bit downtrodden. “If you don’t want me, fine. Tell me, and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone. But don’t stand here and tell me you don’t deserve me. Because from where I stand, I don’t deserve you. Not even close. But I want you.”
“I started loving you the night we met.” The words came out soft. I hadn’t planned to say that. I had always denied its truth, but there it was, leaping between us, like it had been there the whole time. “I’m sorry I’ve been so scared. I still am, if you didn’t notice.”
I heard a nearly imperceptible snort before his dark eyes raked over me, a wary flicker of hope in their depths.
“It’s always been safer to shut off a part of my heart that might get hurt. I’ve done that my whole life…until, one night, I went to a random basketball game with an annoying stranger and met you.”
His eyes flared with humor before he stilled, folding his arms. “Wait. Am I the annoying stranger?”
“Shh. I’m telling the story. I showed you pieces of me that I never showed anyone. And I told myself it was because I’d never see you again. But then I did. And you were here, and I was at the lowest I’d ever been in my life. But you kept showing up, and that terrified me.” I cleared my throat, my decision made. “It’s hard to feel like I deserve someone so good, so I’m going to tell you some of my flaws to make sure you know what you’re getting into before this goes any further.”
He stopped, scrunching his nose into an adorable face. “Is it the Dr. Pepper thing? I already know that. We can work through it.”
I cleared my throat. “Number one, I know how to cook, but it’s stuff like Hamburger Helper and Rice-a-Roni. Things from a box. I can also boil noodles, but that’s about it.”
