“Is it bothering you in any way?”
“No,” I repeat. “Well, it wasn’t, until Kalden admitted that it makes me a Sol. It’s like a warm, tingling pressure, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable before. Now it’s all I can focus on.”
She softly murmurs, “Hm.”
“What?” I ask, releasing and sheathing the blade cuffs as she assesses me.
“I think Kalden’s telling the truth. If you were turning into one of those .. . those creatures, you’d probably be feeling a lot more than a warm tingle. Not to mention, you’re able to have a lucid conversation without thirsting to rip into my chest and your skin hasn’t blackened to a crisp. So, maybe he’s right. Maybe Sols aren’t monsters.” Gem steps in again. “You might feel, and look, a little different, but you’re still my best friend.”
Palms prickling beneath her gaze, I tuck my hands behind my back.
“No,” she says firmly, pulling my arms forward and intertwining her fingers with my own. “No more hiding.”
Tears spill across my eyes, muddying my already murky vision. “How can you not hate me?”
“I’m pissed you didn’t tell me sooner, but I don’t hate you, Orelle. Don’t think I ever could. I just want to understand why. Why did you do this?”
“Why do you think?” I try to pull away, but Gem tightens her grip. “I’m the reason we didn’t make it to Deor. If it weren’t for me slowing us down, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt or evicted from your home. And then you took it easy on me during training, and I still couldn’t keep up. I was going to get myself killed and drag you down with me, like I always do.”
“That’s not tr?—”
“It is, though. We both know I’m not built for surviving, Gem. Why else would you leave Taur? Why would Gabe abandon his family, his city, if he was confident that I’d make it? I was tired of feeling too weak. Like my death was inevitable for all of us. So, when Kalden told me there was a way I could finally do something about it, I took it. For the first time in ten years, I felt like my life was truly inmyhands.Igot to decide my fate. Not Gabe or his father. Not some random guard looking for a quick release. Not even the people that I love, like you, Taur, or my parents. And I guess . . . I wanted to prove I was more than a broken throwaway.”
Gem leans her helmet into mine, voice breaking as she says, “If you saw yourself the way I do, you’d know there’s nothing to prove. Your existence is a gift, not a burden. You keep saying you’re broken, but what I see is a whole entire woman who rebuilt herself from nothing when she could’ve easily given up; a woman who’s persistent and selfless. I mean, sun’s pits, Orelle! Even on your worst days, you go out of your way to make me laugh, even if it’s at T’s expense. You taught me life doesn’t have to be painless to be full. And my life is abundantly more full with you in it.”
We sniffle at the same time, making a breathy snicker bubble upfrom my throat as Gem finally breaks our contact.
I shake the last of the tears from my eyes. “A simple ‘I love you’ or ‘I forgive you’ would’ve sufficed.”
“I don’t think it would’ve. I needed to get the truth through that thick skull of yours.” Gem raps her knuckles against the crown of my helmet. “But in case it wasn’t clear, I do forgive you. And you know I’ll always love you.”
My puffy eyes crinkle at the sides. “Maybe I’ve been going after the wrong marks. First, you compliment my big head, and now the love confession. When can I expect the official proposal?”
She shakes her head, and I swear I can sense her nose scrunching. “You’re disgusting, you know that? You’re practically my sister.”
“But if I wasn’t?” I ask, waggling my brows, though she can’t see them.
“Orelle,”she groans.
I hold up my palms. “Sorry. You make it too easy.”
The sight of my ripped gloves sends my smile falling.
Even with my face covered, Gem catches the shift.
“What are you going to do now that your secret is out?” She gestures to the hidden camera.
The hole in my chest that Gem had patched over cracks back open as I stare at the reflective surface above her browbone, straining to see whether the telltale pinprick of red light glows beneath the sun’s glare. When I don’t spot it, my lungs grab onto a rebellious breath, hoping that perhaps Kalden deactivated the recording devices prior to our battle—yet the air is once again stolen from me when my gaze travels to Demi.
Amidst the chaos, there’s been no time to consider that my actions would be captured by witnesses or cameras. Now that they have, the only way I can return to Caligo is in chains, regardless of whetherthis change is temporary. Any other action would undermine what we’re groomed to believe.
“As soon as they allow the sun to mark their veins, they lose their humanity. Forever.”
Though I’d first heard the warning from my mother, she hadn’t been alone in that belief. She’d simply echoed the sentiment drilled into her from her parents, neighbors, and friends. A lie repeated and carried through generations to disguise itself as truth. For what? What do the leaders of Caligo stand to gain from keeping its residents in the dark? What benefit is there in ensuring we stay uninformed and under-resourced?
The answer buzzes in my palms: power.
If more people knew the truth—that Sols are separate from Pyres and that they’re able to retain their humanity—how many would choose to leave behind the cramped, musty city for a chance at freedom? Freedom to live wherever they want to live. To love whoever they want to love. To procreate, or not procreate, on whatever timeline they decide on with their partner. Would there even be a city left for those in power to lead once people recognized Caligo for what it is: a cage parading as a haven?
