Kalden’s been lying to me this entire time.
The ocean cowers back.
I’ve been lying to Gem. Or omitting the truth, which isn’t much better.
A roiling wave splashes farther up the beach, catapulting fizzy white droplets into the salty sea air.
The Sols of my nightmares are actually Pyres.
The bubbling foam dissolves, revealing several shells in the sand.
And I’m a Sol.
I peel my attention from the water to find Gem’s covered head tilting down at my hands. Radiant beams cut through the slits in my black leather gloves like the first peek of the morning sunrise over the horizon. Its warmth courses beneath my skin, and I crave more of it, like an itch demanding to be satiated.
Whatever it takes—that’s what I’d been willing to do to finally feel useful. To prove I’m capable, or maybe even strong. But where’s the strength in risking my humanity? What good am I to Gem, or to anyone else, if I become the thing we’re fighting against?
Perhaps my death would be preferable.
Backing away, I squeeze my fingers into fists, focusing on the mechanical release of the blades instead of the craving. Because if what Kalden said is true, that Pyres are born when a Sol harnesses too much power, then the last thing I need to do is indulge.
Or Iwillbecome a monster.
If I’m not already becoming one.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“Where are you going?”Gem asks, trailing behind as I trudge along the dampened shore in no particular direction other thanaway. When I don’t answer, she presses, “Orelle, please don’t run from me.”
“I’m not running,” I finally say, not bothering to turn around as I glare at the too-slow progress of my feet.
Fingers grab onto my shoulder, halting my steps. “Yes, you are. But you can’t run away from this.”
“Don’t.” I swat away her hand. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She steps closer. “You’d never do that.”
I flinch back, tossing up my arms. “How do you know? I don’t even know who I am anymore, let alone what I’m capable of.”
“I do.”
“Look at me!” I snap, raising my glowing palms. “I’m a Sol, Gem. A sun-damnedSol. The enemy we were sent out here to kill.”
She folds her arms tightly against herself. “Kalden said it isn’t permanent.”
A bitter huff escapes me. “I’m not so sure I’d believe anything he says right now.”
“Fair enough,” Gem relents. “But you still seem like you. Well, minus the golden veins.”
“I don’t feel like me. Not anymore.”
Gem tilts her head. “What feels different?”
“Everything,” I say. “It’s like the sun itself has been infused into my veins.”
She’s quiet for a beat before softly asking, “Does it hurt?”
I consider the buzz beneath my skin, how I’d thought it pleasant before I fully grasped what was happening. “No.”
