“I haven’t felt like an impostor in social circles,” he amended. “But at university, I met some brilliant fellows and even though my achievements were equal to theirs, I had this feeling that I did not belong in their exalted group. That I wasn’t as intelligent or talented as any of them. I thought that it was mere luck or hard work that got me there. At times, I even feared that my peers would discover that I did not belong.”
“Why, that is exactly howIfeel,” she said, astonished.
“I think it is not uncommon amongst those of us who value achievement. Who hold ourselves to high—some might say, impossible—standards.” Hawk gave her a wry look. “Mama has always said that I am my own worst critic. Perhaps you are your own as well.”
Everything Hawk said made sense. The logic of it swept through her like a crisp breeze, clearing out some of the cobwebs of self-doubt. She would need time to mull things over, but for now she felt burgeoning relief. Despite her confession, her husband hadn’t rejected her. He’d listened and empathized.
“You truly aren’t disappointed?” she asked.
“Why do you think that I would be?”
Because I’ve been a disappointment before.
“I don’t know.” Confronted with Hawk’s unyielding gaze, she mumbled, “Since I was a young girl, Papa has constantly lectured me to be less willful. Less driven by my own desires. He told me I should be more loving and good, like my brother and Mama.”
Hawk’s forehead creased. “Garrity said that to you?”
“Not in so many words,” she was forced to admit. “But I know I’ve been a disappointment to him.”
“I could not imagine how.” Hawk lifted her chin. “Sweetheart, your papa is extremely proud of you. Of who you are and your accomplishments. When I offered for you, he told me he was entrusting me with the dearest thing he had to give to any man, his pride and joy.”
“Papa said that?” she asked, startled.
“Yes. Then he made it clear that there would be consequences if I didn’t take proper care of you.”
That partdidsound like her father. As Fiona struggled to absorb the new information, Hawk continued to shake the tree of her beliefs.
“But I didn’t need your father to tell me how special you are,” he said. “I know that what makes you beautiful isn’t on the outside. It is your boldness and strength and, aye, even your willful streak. The way you aren’t afraid to carve your own path. It is your loyalty to those you care about and how fiercely and passionately you care. It is even your insecurities, the way you have no idea how extraordinary you are.”
“Oh, H-Hawk.” Fi’s voice hitched. “That is truly the n-nicest thing…”
For once, she couldn’t control the tears that dripped down her face. Hawk cuddled her close, murmuring more devastating endearments. When she calmed, he took her hand, linking their fingers on the counterpane.
“I am glad you talked to me, sweetheart,” he said.
She snuggled closer. “I am too.”
“Perhaps you might talk to your papa as well. See what he truly thinks.”
“Perhaps,” she said cautiously.
Hawk squeezed her hand. “At any rate, this is what I meant about sharing our lives. We don’t have to do it all at once, but little by little we can let each other in.”
She slid him a look. “Do you have things you want to share with me?”
If I trust you with my secrets, will you return the favor?
“I suppose I do.” He cleared his throat. “Not right now, for I have a morning appointment, but soon, love. There is no rush. We have a lifetime to get to know one another.”
We have a lifetime together. I’ll tell him about the Angels soon…and I’ll test the waters tonight.
“Before you toddle off, don’t forget we are promised to the Hadleighs this evening,” she said.
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know how much your friends mean to you, and I would like to get to know them better.”
Could any man be more perfect?
She looked at him with her heart in her eyes. “I love you so much.”
