Thirty
Fiona surfaced from a deep, restful sleep. It took her a moment to register that she’d slept in her husband’s bed last night. A smile tucked into her cheeks as she felt Hawk’s warmth cocooning her. They were on their sides, fitted like a pair of spoons, his arm slung around her waist and his legs tangled with hers.
What a wonderful way to wake up.
Her dreamy thought gave way to another realization: he was up too. In the most delicious of ways. She gave an experimental wriggle and was rewarded by Hawk’s muffled laugh.
“Christ, woman. Are you trying to kill me?”
“It is not my fault.” She rolled over to face him. “You were already in a state when I awoke.”
“In a state, am I?” His gaze was languid and amused. “It is your fault for having such a ravishing bottom. Waking pressed up against it is enough to give a dead man a cockstand.”
She giggled. “That’s terribly wicked.”
“Lucky for me, you don’t mind a bit of wicked, do you?” he murmured.
Guessing that he was referring to the depraved act she’d shamelessly enjoyed, her cheeks heated. Embarrassment slithered through her as she realized that passion had once again laid waste to her defenses.
Putting on a smile, she opted to divert the topic. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Better, thanks to you.” His expression sobering, he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “But I wish to God I could have done something to help the Aubervilles.”
“You did what you could. Poor Lord Auberville,” she said tremulously. “I cannot imagine what he is going through right now. To lose one’s spouse…”
She broke off, realizing that Hawk had known this kind of wrenching loss. Indeed, last night he’d mentioned Caroline. Had the attack triggered his own painful memories?
“I’m sorry,” Fi said quietly.
“For what?”
“For, um, bringing up a topic I know you do not like to discuss.”
“First of all, you didn’t bring it up; we were already on the subject. And secondly...” Hawk’s gaze was clear and intent. “Things have changed between us, sweetheart. I have fallen in love with you, and last night you gave me reason to believe my feelings are returned.”
“They are,” she said fervently.
“Then it follows logically that the terms of our marriage have changed too. I would like for us to share more of our lives…of ourselves. To share everything.”
His earnest words elicited a thrill of anxiety. She wanted what he was describing, but she was also afraid of exposing her secrets. What if he didn’t like how bold she was outside of the bedchamber? What if they clashed over her ambition and adventurous spirit? What if he tried to stop her from investigating…like he had once before?
Now that they were in love, the stakes were even greater.
He will never approve of who you really are,her inner voice whispered.If you show your true self, he’ll be disappointed. He might reject you...stop loving you.
“What is going on in that head of yours, Fiona?”
She forced her lips to bend. “Nothing. I was woolgathering is all.”
“Hmm.” He leveled a stare at her. “Do you know you have a tell?”
She blinked. “How do you mean?”
“Whenever there is a subject you wish to avoid, you put on a certain smile. Then you proceed to charm and dazzle a man until he can’t think straight, much less pin you down on the topic.”
She’d felt less exposed when he’d ripped off her nightgown.
She managed an amused laugh. “I don’t do that…”
