“That is dashed unfair!”
“Do not talk to me aboutfair. To save your reputation and your neck, I had to lie to the police and my colleagues about your interference this eve. You botched a months-long operation and helped criminals to escape.”
His voice rose to a bellow. She supposed she preferred his rage served hot rather than cold. And the truth was, she could understand his anger. She’d heard the police talking before Hawk had banished her to the carriage; putting two and two together, she’d come to the shocking conclusion that Lillian had gotten herself mixed up with the Sherwood Band.
“While Wilkes is a criminal, Lillian O’Malley is not.” Fi tried to appeal to Hawk’s sense of logic. “She is a victim of his manipulation and abuse. When I spoke to her, it was clear that she not only repented the wrongs she’d committed, but she was terrified of Wilkes. Of what he might do to her and her mother. That is why she is staying with him.”
“Miss O’Malley is an active participant in the Sherwood Band. She was there when Lady Auberville was murdered,” Hawk clipped out. “When she is apprehended—and I will see to it that she is—she will spend the rest of her life in prison.”
Fi stared at him in dismay. “You cannot mean that.”
“By now, you must know I do not say things I don’t mean.”
“I will not let you do that to Lillian.”
Fury flashed in Hawk’s eyes. “You have no say in this. Tomorrow, I will be informing Lady Fayne that you are no longer a part of her society. If she continues to encourage your unacceptable behavior, I will expose her and her supposed charity.”
Fi’s jaw slackened. “Youwouldn’t.”
“Your investigating days are over,” he stated.
Rage overwhelmed despair.
“You do not get to tell me what to do,” she said in a trembling voice. “We had an agreement. You promised to respect me and my autonomy.”
“Our agreement did not include you courting death and danger at every turn,” he roared back. “If you had a bloody ounce of sense, you would see the madness of your actions. Clearly, you do not. Therefore, as your husband, it is my duty to protect you—from your goddamned self.”
“I am anadult. I am fully capable of making my own decisions!”
“Your behavior indicates otherwise.”
A slap would have hurt less. Her greatest fear about marriage was unfolding, and she felt powerless to stop it. Powerless to make her husband understand that when he rejected her independence, he was rejecting the very heart of her.
“If you loved me, you would understand.” She hated the pleading in her voice. “Don’t do this, Hawk. Don’t destroy our love just because you are afraid. Of losing me…the way you did Caroline.”
Raw anguish scored his features. “You know nothing about that.”
“Caroline’s death caused you great pain; it is only natural that you would fear history repeating itself. But the situations are different—”
“Caroline overdosed on laudanum.”
It took a moment for his words to sink in.
“I-I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t realize her death was an accident—”
“It wasn’t. She took the entire bottle on purpose. Because the burden of her illness—her melancholia—had become too great,” he said tonelessly. “At least, that was what she said in her note.”
Fi’s throat clogged; she didn’t know what to say.
“In that same note, she apologized for failing me—failing our marriage. And her last request was that I protect her honor by not revealing the true cause of her death.”
Understanding percolated through Fiona, leaving her chilled.
“I am breaking my vow to Caroline,” he continued in that same detached voice, “because I need you to understand something. Caroline’s illness robbed her of everything. She fought it the best she could and lost. In the end, her illness forced that bottle to her lips, poured the poison down her throat, and took her life. I failed to help her. But I will not fail you.
“Unlike Caroline, you, Fiona, have a choice.” Hawk’s blade-sharp gaze pierced her to the quick. “You can make the decision to act like the lady and countess you are. You can give up this selfish and asinine notion of being an investigator.”
In her husband’s expression, Fi saw unyielding fury and scorn. His rejection hurt more than anything because he was the one man to whom she’d exposed her innermost desires. The one man she’d trusted with her heart. The heart that he now judged as wanting.
