“I’m not perfect, Cull. Far from.”
Unease twinged as Pippa remembered other times he’d alluded to her flawlessness. At first, it had been flattering; she supposed she’d needed the boost to her self-confidence. Yet being with Cull was helping her to get over her past, and she didn’t need the reassurance any longer. Or rather, she needed honestymore.
“You’re perfect forme,” he amended.
She sat up, drawing the sheet over her breasts. “Don’t idealize me, Cull,” she said quietly. “I made that mistake with Longmere—saw who I wanted him to be instead of who he truly was. I don’t want you to be disappointed like I was when I finally opened my eyes.”
“You could never disappoint me.” Cull got up beside her, his mien serious. “While you are a lady in the truest sense of the word, I know you are also more than that. You’re strong and capable and can handle yourself. That is why I’m going to take a chance on this…on us. But I have enemies, Pippa, and if you are exposed to harm because of me, if I fail to protect you”—his pupils dilated, darkness edging out the warmth of his irises—“I couldn’t stand it.”
“And I couldn’t stand it if you shut me out. If you kept secrets from me.”
“I’m nothing like your husband,” Cull said, his tone curt.
“I know that. Which is why I am willing to trust my heart.” She touched his arm, feeling the taut bulge of his biceps. “I think…I think I’m falling for you too, Cull.”
“You are?” he said hoarsely.
The wonder in his voice cinched her throat. Maybe they were more alike than she realized. Maybe they were both afraid to trust themselves…to risk getting hurt again.
Yet wasn’t love worth the risk?
She drew a breath for courage. “I am. But I need to know that we will share our lives, support one another, and be true partners. I want to be a part of your world and for you to be a part of mine. I won’t countenance walls between us. If you can promise me that, I can promise you that I will do my utmost to make you happy.”
“Christ Almighty, you make me happy just by breathing.” He cupped her face with a reverence that made her eyes sting. “I want you in my life, Pippa. To share things with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else.”
“I want that too,” she said tremulously.
“And you are certain you want to take on a man like me? A man not from your world, who cannot offer you the privileges to which you are accustomed?”
The vulnerability in Cull’s searching gaze astonished her. How could this prince of a fellow doubt his worth when he had so much to offer?
“True nobility is not about titles,” she said in a steadfast tone. “You, Timothy Cullen, are a real gentleman. And I would be honored to have you in my life.”
Relief flashed in his eyes. “Then it’s settled,” he declared. “We’re falling in love.”
Smiling at his decisiveness, she tipped her mouth up, and they sealed their new promise with a kiss.
28
Cull scaled the rear fence of Howard Morton’s property, moving stealthily toward the small two-story house. In a few minutes, Pippa would be knocking on Morton’s door. When she did, Mikey and Matches, who were discreetly keeping watch, would sound the signal. While Pippa distracted Morton, Cull would enter through the back and search the man’s house for clues.
Pippa had one of the mudlark whistles with her; if she used it, Cull, Mikey, and Matches would rush to her aid. Or she could take care of the problem herself, Cull thought wryly, using the pistol tucked in the pocket of her skirts.
An Angel always comes prepared,she’d told him primly.
It was the damnedest thing: trusting Pippa didn’t lessen his protectiveness. He feltmorepossessive now that he had something to lose, and he wasn’t used to the feeling. Wasn’t used to life giving him anything, let alone his heart’s desire. Truth be told, allowing himself to love Pippa, to be happy and contemplate a future with her, felt almost selfish.
Years ago, he’d left Maisie at the Hunt Academy because he thought that was the safest place for her. At the time, it had been the most painful decision of his life, letting his sister go and knowing he’d hurt her. Yet he’d believed he was doing the right thing…until she’d come to him, soon after graduating from the school, and told him she was with child.
The father was her employer, a married nob with a family.
Recalling the shame in Maisie’s eyes still felt like a blow to the gut. For the first time, Cull had wanted to commit murder. But Maisie had stopped him. Told him that if he did anything to the father of her child, she would never forgive him. She’d made him swear on their mam’s grave that he would stay away from the blackguard and keep her secret.
Cull had given her his word. He’d also taken her to Fanny, who ran a place called the Nursery House, which helped women in Maisie’s predicament. Fanny had taken care of Maisie. After the babe was born, Maisie had turned down Cull’s financial support, instead finding another position, this time in Bristol. She was still there, employed as a housekeeper to a spinster.
Cull’s letters to Maisie went unanswered. She wanted nothing to do with him, the brother who’d failed her, and he didn’t blame her. He’d learned from his mistakes, however, and kept a better eye on her, though she never knew it. Over the years, he’d even had glimpses of his nephew, now a robust young boy. Cull wished that he could make things right with Maisie. But he didn’t know how. Didn’t know if it was possible.
Having Pippa in his life made him acutely aware of his failings. Of all that could go wrong, even if you cared about someone, even if you thought you were doing the right thing. He wanted to confide in Pippa about Maisie, but he’d given his sister his promise. And he knew the last thing Maisie wanted was for her friends at the Hunt Academy, who’d thought of her as a success, to find out her secret disgrace.
