Cull nodded, his gaze stark. “So were the others who died under my watch. Except for Patrick.”
“Patrick?” she asked softly.
“He was my best chum. We came up the ranks together. The fire that caused my injury took Patrick’s life.” Cull’s voice was gritty with emotion. “He died getting others out because that was the kind of fellow he was.”
“I’m so sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“Death—whether from enemies, disaster, or disease—is no stranger to the mudlarks. The only thing we can do is weather it together.” Shadows lurked in his eyes. “Do you know why the starlings fly together the way they did last night?”
She shook her head.
“According to birdwatchers, it is how the starlings thwart their predators. I’ve seen it myself. A falcon trying to hunt was confused by the constant movement and shifting of the group. It swooped in and out, trying to capture a single bird, but it left without a meal because of the coordination and cohesion of the flock.”
And the bonds between the members of Cull’s gang were just as strong. Pippa recalled how worried the larks had been after Ollie’s injury. How protective Fair Molly was of Cull. And how Cull took responsibility for them all.
“The former prince had a saying:Alone, we are easy to defeat. Together, we are invincible.I’ve tried to make the mudlarks invincible, but I’ve failed…six times too many.”
She touched Cull’s jaw, felt the harsh tension in that muscle. “It is not your fault. You’re a wonderful leader, but even you can’t control everything.”
“When it comes to you, that terrifies me.”
His blunt admission took her aback. She hadn’t thought that Cull was a man afraid of anything.
“A part of me wonders if I have been selfish starting things with you,” he said with burning intensity. “That’s why I stayed away all those years. I knew the life I led wasn’t right for you.”
“I told you before. I don’t need a life of luxury and ease—”
“ButIneed you to be safe.” Exhaling, he rolled onto his back, staring up at the slatted ceiling. “I have a history of failing to protect the people I care about the most. My mam, Maisie, Patrick…the list goes on. And I can’t—won’t—let that happen with you.”
Pippa’s heart was hammering. Not because of his asinine notion that she needed protection.
“You care about me?” she said in an aching whisper.
He turned his head, his expression incredulous. Pulling her into the crook of his shoulder, he looked into her eyes. “Jesus wept, Pippa. Did you think I didn’t?”
“I guess I knew you, um, liked me.” She fumbled for the right words, hating how unsure she sounded. Hating her lingering self-doubt. “But this is an affair. Without strings. And you told me from the start that you could only offer me the pleasure of the moment.”
“Is that what you want?” His gaze probed hers. “For this to be a casual liaison?”
Responses swarmed her mind.Keep it casual and safe. This was just supposed to be a fun diversion. Don’t get attached too quickly.
Yet this wasn’t just any lover; this was Cull. A man who had survived the cruelest of environments and still saw beauty in the everyday. A man who cared so deeply that he inked his penance onto his skin. A man who was kind, passionate, and trustworthy…and worth the risk of heartbreak.
“I want more,” she whispered.
I want the dream that started in the bell tower. What fourteen years didn’t erase. I want you, Cull…please don’t hurt me.
“Thank Christ,” he said gruffly. “Because I’m falling in love with you, Pippa.”
Her breath stuttered. “You are?”
This good, noble, powerful man was falling forher?
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Don’t know why you’re surprised, sunshine. I started falling for you fourteen years ago.”
“You didn’t know me then,” she countered. “Not really.”
“True. But you were the prettiest lass I’d ever laid eyes on. Gave me the best kiss I’d ever had.” He leaned in, the hot and tender claim of his mouth curling her toes into the sheets. “And fourteen years later, you’re still giving me that…and more,” he murmured against her lips. “You’re even more perfect than my fantasies.”
