“Gossiping about what?” he said, frowning.
“One of them was saying what a lot of fuss was being made over a stillborn babe. She said that this happens all the time in the village, and here we are acting as if the sky has fallen.”
Fury ignited, roaring through him. “Do you know who it was?”
“She was just speaking her mind.” Penny drew a wobbly breath. “But it did make me think: whydobabes have to die? Why did our little girl,”—her voice hitched—“have to die?”
Her question twisted his gut. All he could say was, “I don’t know.”
“Do you think it could be punishment… for past wrongs, sins I’ve committed?”
“God, no,” he said, appalled. “Of course not. How could you think such a thing?”
“Sometimes I wonder about it. If I had been a better person, led a more sinless existence—”
“Penny, look at me.” He lifted her chin, the sheen in her violet eyes tearing the scab off, making the wound bleed anew. He said firmly, “One has nothing to do with the other. Life is mysterious. Bad things happen for no reason at all.”
“You don’t know that,” she whispered. “Flora—my mama, I mean—she had a saying.As you sow, so shall you reap.”
Shadows angled through her gaze, her lashes wet and spiky. He didn’t know what she was thinking, but he forged on heedlessly, driven by the need to slay any pointless, needless guilt that she might be feeling.
“Even if that were true, you’d have nothing to worry about. You’re a lady, sweet and pure. What wrongdoing could you have possibly committed?” He tucked a fallen curl behind her ear and felt her tremble. “If we were to be judged by our sins, between the two of us, surely I’d be the one most deserving of punishment.”
“That’s not true. You’re a hero,” she said in a scratchy voice.
“During the war, I committed atrocities. So many of them. You know—you’ve witnessed my nightmares.” He brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “I wish to hell that I hadn’t done those things, but there’s no changing the past. I did what I did in the name of duty, and I have to live with it. But it has nothing to do with our little girl dying.”
“Your actions were honorable. You protected your country.” She touched his arm. “Marcus, you’re the finest man I’ve ever known.”
“And you, my love, are the finest woman I’ve ever known. You’re a doting mama to three healthy boys and a loving wife to me. You’ve given us the gift of happiness and love. Surely that must erase whatever sins you think you may have committed,” he said tenderly.
Her lips quivered. A tear slipped from the corner of her right eye.
He gathered her in his arms and held her against him while sobs shuddered through her. His own eyes heated, prickling with wetness.
Even after the storm passed, they stood together for a long while. With leaves shedding around them, he tightened his hold on his wife as they kept vigil with the angel who had passed all too fleetingly through their lives.
Finally, he said, “It’s getting cold. We should go inside.”
Penny nodded, and he took her hand, intending to lead her away.
“Marcus.”
He turned his head to her, giving her an inquisitive look. “Yes, love?”
“I just wanted to say… I still don’t know why this had to happen. And I haven’t made my peace with it.” Her eyes were very bright. “But I’m glad that you are here with me.”
His chest clenched, his grip on her hand even stronger. “I’ll always be here, Penny. That’s what marriage is. Being together through every season, no matter what it brings.”
Her smile was small and tremulous. Her fingers squeezed his.
Together, they made their way back home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
December 1829
For Penny, the time at the cottage proved to be a second wedding trip. The husband she adored was back and, truth be told, things between them were better than ever. And she wasn’t thinking just of the lovemaking (of which there were several daily episodes, each time different and creative, andallof it sublime).
