He leans back, cracking his knuckles. “He hurts you, I’d fucking tear his head off. He knows that.”
I manage a small smile. Once, I might’ve found comfort in that. Now, it just feels like another wall.
“I was thinking about meeting mom for coffee before she fucks off again.” It’s been playing on my mind since I spoke to Bella.
Dad scoffs. “Why? I thought she was a bitch to you? She’s never going to change, Lily.”
I inhale slowly. “Have you changed?” I counter.
He chuckles. “No. And I’ve loved you every second since I sent you away. I’d never, ever hurt you. But I’m never going to stop you. You want to see your mother, you do that. But you take Drago with you.”
I look away. “She looked so… sad, the last time she turned up at the gallery. It’s been playing on my mind.”
He rests his hand on my knee, softer now. “You always had such a good heart, Lily. That’s what I never wanted to change. I couldn’t let my darkness take over your light.”
I close my eyes and rest my head against his shoulder. “I’m happy you’re here now, Dad.”
“Go see your mom. Make sure she’s not doing anything stupid.”
“Like what?” I laugh.
“Drugs? I don’t know. I wouldn’t put anything past her.”
I sit up straighter. He’s not wrong. “She just can’t settle, she’s lost, maybe.”
“Yeah. Well, she fucked me hard enough with her antics. If it were up to me, I’d have killed her after her first affair.”
I smack his arm, and he laughs. “What?!”
“You sent her off with me!”
He tuts. “She wasn’t a bad mother. Just an awful wife. It was safer for you to be with her than it was with me.”
I hesitate. “Could you ever… just leave this life?”
His eyes darken. “No. Not now. I’m in it till I die.”
“What about Drago? Is he too old?”
It doesn’t matter how mad at Drago I am right now; this answer is still important to me. Because in some way, it could give me hope that if I do hear him out—if this really is a thing worth pursuing—it will be worth the explosion it causes. Not just for me, but for him.
“He wouldn’t. This life is what makes his worth living. The boy needs purpose and leadership. He’s wasted anywhere else. Can you imagine him setting up a house with a wife and kids? A cute little white picket fence? He’d blow his brains out with boredom.”
Ouch.
“Oh. Yeah, I guess,” I murmur.
My mind drifts back to Monaco. The instant fear that set in when we spoke about the potential risks to our unprotected sex. And the way Drago softened, even if I did try to laugh it off. I could see in his face that he actually wanted that.
And so did I. Even if it scares the hell out of me. I wanted that future. I still want it. Even if it isn’t right now.
“Anyway, when are you going to introduce me to a boyfriend?”
My breath catches. “Maybe once I’m out of this prison.”
I stand abruptly, needing space. “I gotta go sort some emails and contracts out for the gallery. I’ll leave you to your work, and I’ll make some dinner in a bit. Is Drago coming back tonight?”
I haven’t heard from him all day.
