I take a deep breath. Jodie is the only one – apart from my therapist – who knows what happened that day on the schooltrip. She was sitting beside me. She didn’t realise until years afterwards, like me, that I was to blame. Haltingly, I explain.
‘Shit! I bet that creeped you out!’
‘It did, but she doesn’t seem to recognise me…’
‘I’m not surprised. We were all so young and look totally different now. And if she did, all she would remember was a young girl she spoke to. I keep telling you, Lizzie, you’ve built all this up too much in your mind.’
She’s right. I know she is. But the guilt is so suffocating. ‘She knows Nick too, they both worked at Dad’s company just before he died.’
I hear Jodie gasp. ‘Wow, that’s really weird, Liz. A double coincidence. You couldn’t make that up.’ Suddenly Freddie starts wailing in the background. ‘Sorry, got to go. I’ll call you later,’ Jodie says, and she’s gone.
Leaving her words going round and round in my mind. She’s right, it is weird that not only is Mum married to the husband of the wife whose death I caused, but also that Nick worked with his daughter. And now that daughter is all over Nick and Mum, but very cool with me.
Is it really all a coincidence or is there something going on here?
17
NICK
It’s been a tough day at work and I can’t wait to get home, but as I’m about to get into my car a text pings in. I look at my phone expecting it to be from Lizzie and am surprised to see that it’s Ally again. I open it.
Hi Nick, would you mind popping in after work and helping me move a few things around in the back room to make Mum more comfortable? I’m afraid she’s going to be downstairs for a while. A x
Funny how quickly we’ve slipped back into the easy friendship we had years ago. We’re older, different people, but our connection is still there. I should go straight home but how can I refuse? Ally can’t move the furniture by herself and I don’t want her to wait for George to come home, all that lifting wouldn’t be good for his high blood pressure.
Besides, Ally was a good friend once. And I need her loyalty, she could blow my life apart.
It will be easier to go there first, so I reply that I’ll pop in from work. Then I message Lizzie to let her know that I’ll be a bit late home, so she doesn’t worry that I’ve been in an accidentor something. Lizzie always imagines the worst-case scenario, which I understand after what happened to her dad.
‘Thanks so much,’ Ally says as she lets me in half an hour later. ‘I’m really grateful.’
‘No problem, we all appreciate you looking after Judith.’ I follow her into the lounge where my mother-in-law is sitting in the armchair, her bad ankle resting on a pouffe. ‘How are you feeling?’ I ask her, giving her a peck on the cheek. She looks pale and tired, I notice.
‘I’m fine. I’ll be right as rain in a couple of days,’ she says weakly. ‘Sorry Alison had to bother you. You’re busy enough.’
‘I’m never too busy to help you,’ I tell her. It’s true. I’ll do anything for Judith and Lizzie. It began with guilt, but now it’s love that drives me. Although the guilt never goes.
‘Nick is going to help me bring a wardrobe or chest of drawers down so that you can access your clothes and a few personal things. Which do you prefer, Mum?’
Judith looks worried. ‘Oh please don’t go to all the trouble. I’ll be back upstairs in no time.’
Ally squeezes her hand. ‘It’s going to be a while before you can get up and down those stairs, Mum, so let us make it a bit easier for you.’
‘Well, it would be good to have the small chest of drawers,’ Judith agrees. ‘And there’s a freestanding clothes rail folded up in the office room, we can put some of my clothes on that.’ She must feel such a burden. One of the things I’ve always admired about Judith is that she’s so fiercely independent. ‘Thank you both.’
‘It’s no problem at all,’ I reassure her.
I look around, we’d pushed the sofa to one side yesterday to make room for Judith’s bed but it’s still very cramped. ‘How about we move the sofa out into the conservatory? There will be plenty of room for it if we move the wicker sofa and chairs fromthere outside. The weather’s nice enough.’ The conservatory leads off from the back room so it will be a fairly easy procedure.
‘That’s a great idea.’ Alison’s smile lights up her face. It’s really nice how much she cares for Judith and everything she’s trying to do for her. I remember how friendly and helpful she was all those years ago when we both worked together. ‘Probably best if we move the stuff out of the conservatory first.’
She opens the patio doors leading to the conservatory and steps inside. I follow her. The wicker sofa and chairs aren’t very heavy, and we each take a chair outside then carry the sofa between us. We place them on the patio.
‘They look good here, don’t they?’ Alison says. ‘I’ll see if I can get a cover for them in case it rains because they’ll probably be out here for a couple of weeks.’
‘There’s one in the shed,’ I tell her. ‘Right, let’s get the big sofa out first. Are you sure you are okay carrying it? It’s heavy.’
She raises an eyebrow in amusement. ‘Nick. I’m a nurse. I’m used to heavy lifting.’
