“If I were most guys, I don’t think you would have decided to sleep with me.”
I scoffed, but admittedly…it was a turn-on. Did this self-confident nerd bring out the slut in me? “I don’t think I’ll ever benotsurprised when you pull that arrogant stuff. It’s so unlike you.”
“You and I are honest people, Scout. You’re a scientist. I’m an engineer. We trade in reality. No bullshit. It’s not arrogant tothink I’m at least a little special to you. It’s just a fact. We wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t enjoy my company—even a little bit.”
“And you? Am I special to you? Do you enjoy my company?” I asked, once again thinking about how deftly he dodged answering my questions.
“I trust that I can make you happy,” he said, after a beat of hesitation. “Ilikemaking you happy.”
It seemed that was all he felt comfortable giving me now. Which was fine, I told myself. We didn’t need to add any more depth to this relationship. We were friends with benefits. Nothing more.
“What else do you like about me?” I asked, slowly lowering myself down onto his lap.
A silly question. I braced myself for the obvious attributes everyone always ascribed to me. Hardworking. Smart. Diligent. Disciplined.
But he surprised me. “You’re kind.”
“I’mwhat?”
“On my first day at BuzzCorp, it was raining, and I didn’t have an umbrella. I was standing outside the building, but the security guard wouldn’t let me in. You saw me from your window, not yet knowing that I was the guy Clara had hired, and you came down with your umbrella because you’d seen a stranger in the rain who looked like he needed help. You didn’t have to do that. But you did. Just like you always leave the everything bagel for Addie on Bagel Wednesdays because you know they’re her favorite, even though you love them, too, and just like, when Terrence leaves his sweater at the office on Friday, you send it to the laundry so it’s clean when he gets to the office on Monday.”
I reeled. I didn’t…he’d noticed all of that?
“You keep hinting that I’m too accommodating or whatever, but you and I are the same,” he said. “But where I want everyone to know what sort of guy I am, you want to hide it. I don’t understand.”
Oh, the unbearable weight of being perceived. Sex would have been so much easier. I squirmed.
“What? Are you surprised?” he asked.
“I just never thought of myself that way.”
“Howdoyou think of yourself? You don’t really let me see a lot of you. I’d like to know more.”
“You already know everything that’s worth knowing. The old career, the old flame, the new career, the new fuckbuddy.”
As if to prove my point, I settled in deeper on his lap. His cock stirred. Excellent. Only a few more minutes of distraction and we’d be off theMetopic and onto theWetopic.
“So I know your LinkedIn profile, basically. I want to knowyou.”
“I don’t want to talk about me.”
“Too bad.” He smirked and rebuttoned my top shirt button. “You’re not getting dick until you do.”
“There’s nothing to know! I’m just…” I sighed. It was big of him to demand answers from me when he wouldn’t give me any about himself. However, lunch today with Leelah showed me how nice it could be to talk to someone. “I didn’t have the normal experiences other people had. I was obsessive about school as a kid, and then I became obsessive about work. My…me and Lloyd Exeter, that was the first time I’d ever given myself permission to do something for me. And it almost ruined my life. I know I like sci-fi and bagels and that friendship and dating terrify me. But other than that? I guess maybe I don’t even know who I am. There. Isthatenough?”
Petulantly, I undid my top button again.
Hudson nodded. Batting me away, he started down the buttons, slowly exposing my chest. “You know what I see when I look at you? Someone smart, and sexy, and funny, and you really care about people, even if you’re too afraid to let them get close…and yes.” He pressed a kiss below my ear, tickling thesensitive skin of my neck. “You’ve earned a reward. And I think it’s time formeto have another lesson.”
Thank Christ.Now in my bra and skirt, I freed his cock from his briefs and his jeans.
I slipped easily out of my panties, crying out as I sank onto him.
It was my first time being on top. I guess that should have been intimidating. It wasn’t. It felt too right.
Before I could ride him in earnest, though, he held my hips fast, freezing me in place.
“But you should know—I’m going to help you figure out who you are.”
