“Mallory,” Lainey began a little uncertainly, then shared a quick look with Chloe, “I think it’s great that you’re here, and I honestly hope you come around more often—to see me, not just Asher and the rest of the guys. But I feel like you’re here for a reason.”
Chloe hummed in agreement, her head bobbing as she studied me.
Lainey gave me a shaky look of encouragement, considering she looked like she was a soft breeze from falling over. “We’re here for you...whatever you need.”
“Whenever,” Chloe added with a more decisive nod.
“Whenever,” Lainey echoed softly.
I worked my jaw as I considered their words and understanding, except I still didn’t know what I’d wanted orexpected out of this time with them. The life I’d always known—the foundation of who I was—had been thoroughly rocked, yes, but that was something I would deal with. And as much as I wanted to lay it all out so Gray could help me wade through it, that was no longer an option for us. Because, of course, there was alsoGray...
Gray, who had floored me.
Gray, who had confused me.
Gray, who had made me doubt everything.
Gray, who had still hurt me for years.
I stilled as everything pieced together embarrassingly quickly.
I hadn’t come here for girl talk or company or to share all the things I only wanted to share with one person. I’d come here because I’d wanted help. I’d come here because of Gray.
He’d continuously thrown me off-balance with his confessions today. Like this morning, I’d found my traitorous heart falling all over itself outside the coffee shop, wanting to believe everything he was saying, only for too many years of painful evidence to rush up and reinforce my crumbling walls.
But even with those unstable shields in place, I couldn’t help but replay his words again and again andagain. I couldn’t help but want them to be true. I couldn’t help but think theycould’vebeen true, if I hadn’t been molded into an emotion-suppressing, instrument of war, from the time I could walk.
Thatwas what had pushed me to ask Chloe if I could come here.
Because I’d only ever been jealous of the women Gray had hit on in front of me. I’d never been insecure until realizing they’d all looked and acted a certain way, and I...well,didn’t. And, as I couldn’t help but notice every time I saw her, Chloe was my exact opposite. Lainey had similar physical features as me, but there was a distinct difference between us.
For half a second, I considered telling them,“Thanks, but I’m good,”and keeping my lack of confidence to myself, before I found myself blurting out, “How do you make yourselves pretty? And feminine?”
If I kept getting these stunned looks from them, I honestly might develop some kind of complex.
“Wait, what?” Chloe was the first one to ask.
My earlier desire to leave was nothing like my desire now. Before, it was because I was sure I’d made a mistake in coming, and this wasn’t at all in my comfort zone. Now, it was because I wanted to crawl in a hole and never emerge.
However, I still firmly believed in fighting over fleeing.
So, I swallowed the embarrassment nearly choking me, steeled my spine, and nodded toward her. “You know, with your...”—I gestured to my face—“your makeup and hair. The way you dress. How do I do that?”
The two of them stared in open-mouthed shock before sharing a long look with each other.
A disbelieving huff burst from Chloe as she slowly glanced my way again, but it was Lainey who spoke, slow and careful. “I’m not sure if this is a prank or not.” When I just stared the two of them down, gripping my hands tightly together to keep myself in place, she added, “You do realize how stunning you are, right?”
I hadn’t realized I’d broken my rigid form, letting my knee bounce, until it abruptly stopped at her question.
“Like,beyond,” Chloe said as if she wasn’t sure how that wasn’t common knowledge, before her next words came tumbling out. “You’re like Assassin Barbie. Do you know how intimidating you are? Not only do you look like a supermodel, but you somehowstrutan invisible catwalk in combat boots?—”
“Tactical boots,” I corrected, and she waved her drink-free hand through the air.
“Right, those too,” she said as if it made no difference to her. “But every time you walk by on your invisible catwalk, it’s like watching a supermodel who’ll kill someone if they look at her wrong.”
“Deadly Duo,” Lainey mumbled, and Chloe pointed at her in agreement.
I glanced between the two. “You said I strut, look like I’ll kill someone, and compared me to both a supermodel and Barbie—which, I hate the latter. What part of those four things is theduo?”
