“You ever think maybe she was saying it out of self-preservation?” he asked in that same gentle but firm tone. “You ever think she needed for you to mean it?”
I shot Thatch a questioning look.
“The way you talk to women, it’s always in thatGrayway. It works, but it’s...I don’t know...not real. Like you know exactly what to say, and like you’ve used those exact same lines on hundreds of women before.” He lifted an eyebrow when my expression fell. “That’s why I’ve always told you, if you treated Monroe the same way you felt about her—not just flirted with her the same way you do when trying to get someone to fall at your feet—things would be different.”
That was the problem, wasn’t it?
I’d always been this way. My mom still joked about how I’d been charming every female within a five-mile radius since I could talk.
I swallowed around the knot that refused to leave my throat, head slowly bobbing as I reached for the bottle of beer again. But I just turned it in slow circles on the light granite as I once againquestioned the past eleven years, my entire life, and everything I thought I knew about myrelationshipwith Mallory Monroe.
Before I could begin to filter myself, the words, “We eloped,” fell from my lips. At the sudden, deafening silence, I hurried to add, “In Aruba. The night of Briggs’ wedding.” My stare darted to Thatch to find him more shocked than I’d ever seen him.
“Apparently, we were wasted, though I still don’t—whatever, that doesn’t matter. We woke up the next morning with no memory of it.Clothed,” I quickly added, wanting to protect Mallory from anyone thinking her drunken mistake had gone further than it had. “Nothing else happened, but she was still furious and blamed me.”
“‘Apparently,’” Thatch echoed with a questioning lift of his chin. “Since when do you drink enough to get wasted, let alone to haveno memoryof what you did?”
My chest pitched with a heaving breath that showed exactly how confused I’d been by that. Still, I wryly said, “Since a wedding in Aruba.”
At the furrowing of Thatch’s brow, I added, “I know, but that’s—again, it doesn’t matter. What matters is Monroejuststarted talking to me again outside Shadow, and it’s to fight with me in a way that...Thatch, we aren’t coming back from this.”
At his mumbled curse, I held out my free hand, then let it fall, slapping against my side. “I didn’t do anything. And before you try saying anything about Wren, I’m gonna let you know what I just told your wife when I saw her in town: nothing happened. For whatever reason, Wren lied, but I’ve never done anything more than flirt with her.”
Thatch continued studying me as a minute came and went before finally asking, “Did you annul it?”
I gave him a dry look. “When have I ever known how to leave her? I almost reenlistedagainjust to stay with her, even though I knew she’d be out a year after us. I’d die for her. I almostdid.” I waved a hand like Mallory might be standing just past the kitchen. “Shehasn’t annulled it.”
At that, Thatch’s eyebrows lifted before his expression shifted into something more meaningful as if he was waiting for me to understand the meaning of that too.
But I just shook my head. “You’ve seen how she’s been. Like I said, she’s refused to talk to me outside the office until this weekend, and now it’s worse than ever before, and I think she’s leaving.”
Concern once again eclipsed Thatch’s features at the break in my voice, but he didn’t say anything as silence once again settled over the kitchen.
After minutes passed as I stood there, weighed down by dread and pain and frustration, he pushed from the counter and walked to the fridge.
Grabbing another beer from it, he nodded toward the living room and said, “Then let’s figure this out before she does.”
Iwasn’t surprised to find Chloe standing in the exact same place—just a dozen feet away—when Gray took off, looking equal parts worried and inquisitive. However, Iwassurprised that when I turned on my heel to leave, I turned right back around and closed some of the distance between us, asking, “Can I come with you?”
Once again, I didn’t know if her shock was more out of the fact that I was talking to her, or the question in general. “Come...wh—to Lainey’s?”
I gave her a nod that didn’t show any of the uncertainty I felt, and watched as her doe eyes widened comically.
You know . . . if anything about this situation were comical.
“S-sure,”she said, clearly not knowing what to make of my question, but that endless joy that flowed out of her only seemed to grow. “I’d love that. Do you wanna drive with me?”
“I’ll meet you there,” I told her before forcing myself to walk calmly back to my Jeep. After all, I wasn’t sure what to make of my request either, and wasn’t sure why I wanted to be there, so I needed an easy escape.
I’d talked to Lainey much more than Chloe, but our conversations had still only been few and far between, and usually out of necessity. Andgirl talkwasn’t something I’d ever done.
But after the revelation about my dysfunctional family and the disconcerting conversation with Gray, there was this feeling deep in my stomach that I needed to be in that house with them. I just didn’t know what to make of the fact that it also left me feeling emptier and smaller than I ever had before.
A feeling that only grew when Briggs answered the door, his permanent scowl shifting to a suspicious glare when he saw me standing with Chloe.
“Hi, so sorry,” Chloe began, holding the drinks up like an offering. “I didn’t know you would be here, so I didn’t bring anything for you. But I brought tea for Lainey!”
Briggs didn’t even glance her way as he mumbled, “Thanks, Chloe.”
