But as I pulled out of the downtown area, I didn’t turn in the direction of Asher and Lainey’s house. I turned the opposite way, heading for the only person who had ever understood.
In minutes, I was in the charming neighborhood and standing on the wide porch. The side of my fist slammed against the large, wooden door as I forced myself to breathe and think through everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, which led to dozens of other thoughts throughout the past three months.
Thatch swung open the door, already talking as he did. “What is wrong with—” His eyes widened in surprise and then worry when he got a good look at me. “Tell me what you need.”
“You really think I’d sleep withWren?”
“You did,” he said, as if reminding me.
A bitter sound left me as I rubbed at my forehead before dragging the hand through my hair. Without waiting for an invitation, I pushed past him, into their house.
Moving through the space, I headed straight for the kitchen and fridge. Once I had a beer in hand and open, I turned to face where Thatch was watching me with even deeper worry than before.
“You told me,” I began with a huff that was as irritated as it was desperate. “You’ve always said, ‘She’s never gonna give you the time of day when you chase every girl that passes you.’” My head shook as I forced down a swallow when my throat felt so thick and dry. “‘If you’d just treat her the same way you feel about her, things might be different for you.’”
Thatch studied me after I finished quoting him about Mallory, his brow furrowed as he waited to see if I would offer anything else. When I didn’t, he repeated, “Tell me what you need.”
“Monroe hates me.”
“She doesn’t,” he argued, forcing a challenging huff from me.
“She does,” I countered, the sadness in my voice beyond evident, but I didn’t care. “She thinks I’m someone I’m not, and it’s—” My head slanted as I lifted the bottle to my lips, only to still as I thought back to her pain and aggravation from her condo and today. With a defeated sigh, I lowered my hand and placed the full bottle on the counter. “It’s my fault. Not that that’s surprising to you.”
He moved to lean against the island and folded his tattooed arms across his chest, looking like it bothered him that he couldn’t disagree. “You still haven’t told me what happened.”
“We’ve been fighting in ways we never have before,” I told him, not that he didn’t already know that. “Real fights, not ournormal bickering. And this morning...this morning was the first time I’ve ever walked away from her.”
“Gray,” he prodded, that familiar worry lacing his tone.
“And she just had a meeting with Briggs. Today.”
“Gray.” My name lashed from Thatch on a frustrated and wounded plea.
“I think she’s leaving Shadow,” I muttered instead. “Something she said...the way she said it.”
Surprise and hurt stole across Thatch’s features before he shook his head like he was refusing to believe what I’d just told him. With a heavy exhale, he passed a hand over his face and tried again. “Why are you keeping things from me? Especially about her.”
Because I don’t know how to admit I finally got her, only to fully lose her.
“Gray,” he began when I didn’t respond, sounding just as disappointed in me as he was worried. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what you did.”
“Why do you automatically think I did something?” I asked, letting him hear just how much that bothered me. “I didn’t do anything.”
He held out his arms before crossing them again. “How am I supposed to know that when you won’t talk to me?”
“You’re supposed to know that I wouldn’t hurt any woman, but especially not Monroe.”
Thatch’s eyes widened as if he was waiting for me to realize what I was saying. “You think hitting on every woman in sight doesn’t hurt her?” he gently challenged. “You think picking up countless women in front of her doesn’t hurt her?”
My stomach filled with lead and sank, making me feel sick in an instant.
I’d meant what I said in Mallory’s condo: on a near-daily basis, she’d made it known that she couldn’t stomach thethought of us together, so what had been the point of sitting around, waiting for that to change?
It hadn’t mattered what my heart wanted. It hadn’t mattered that she’d been the only woman I’d seen.
I would’ve been heartbrokenandpathetic if I’d waited around for her all that time.
“You think I haven’t been hurting in all this?” I shot back coldly. “How many times has she told me exactly what she’s thought of me? How often does she tell me she’d rather do anything other than consider being with me? How many ways has she described how I disgust her? And let’s not forget the amount of times I’ve been friend-zoned or compared to her brothers.”
