Always her.
And that terrified me, because she wasn’t mine to keep.
She’d told me in fifty different ways I was temporary and the fact was, I would leave.
But nobody said she couldn’tcome with me.
The intrusive thought hit me like a punch. It wasn’t a dirty fantasy, no, it was something far worse. It was a daydream so exquisite, it nearly took my breath away.
A life where she didn’t have to do everything alone.
A life where I didn’t have to leave her behind.
The thought sank its claws into me. What if we could build something together?What if she came with me?
It was selfish. Hopeless. Unfair, even.
But now it had entered my mind, it wouldn't stop haunting me. It was like a decision I hadn’t realized I’d already made, taking root in the depths of my being.
I wanted a future with her.
Chapter 21
Kai
Thehousewasdarkand Janet had long gone to bed. The adrenaline had worn off and it was just the two of us. Her head on my chest, my arm around her and her absentmindedly tracing patterns on my ribs with her fingers.
If I could have, I would have purred under her touch. It felt too intimate, too perfect, for someone I wasn’t supposed to keep.
Tori broke the silence first.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”
Unconsciously, I tensed for a fraction of a second before relaxing again and exhaling. “Dunno. Nervous, I reckon? Feels like I’m so close to actually getting my shit together but…” I sucked my teeth. “Yeah, nah. Still feel nervous as hell.”
“I get that. I feel the same way before every single fight … like no matter how well I train and prepare, there’s always this little nagging feeling of insecurity in the background.”
A feeling akin to relief spread through my chest, sticky and warm like molasses. Tori had a knack for making me feel understood and seen without even trying.
Did she know she was undoing me? I bit back an amused huff. Knowing her, probably not.
She traced the patterns inked into my skin with her fingers.
“What do they mean?”
“My tattoos?”
A shiver of pleasure raced down my spine when her fingertips ever so slightly brushed across my skin, and I closed my eyes.
“Yeah. They are traditional, right?”
“Sure are. My dad’s side of the family is Maori and from New Zealand. These tattoos are a way for me to feel more connected to that part of my heritage and my family’s culture.”
“I love that.” Her words carried a palpable sense of wonder. “When did you get them?”
“Sixteen.”
Tori’s head jerked up and she stared at me, her eyes wide with shock.
