“What? Really?”
I chuckled. “Yeah. Believe it or not, that’s not that unusual.”
“It isn’t?” Her eyes grew wider still.
I grinned, delighted by her shocked, unguarded expression. “It’s really common to get them at significant milestones, so once I turned sixteen, I couldn’t wait to get mine. It was important to me to feel connected to my tipuna.”
“That is so interesting!” She slowly lowered her head back onto my chest. “It always amazes me how different cultures across the world are.”
“Too right. Growing up in Australia was brilliant but I also love honoring my dad’s culture and being part of something so much bigger than myself.”
I grabbed Tori’s hand, which was lying flat on my chest, and guided it back to trace the black lines once more. She caught on quickly and resumed the slow movements.
“It sounds pretty impressive. I understand the wanting to be a part of something bigger than yourself.”
I hummed in agreement.
Silence fell once more but her fingers never stopped moving. I’d almost thought she’d fallen asleep when she spoke again, her breath ghosting over my skin.
“I feel stuck.”
I tightened my arm around her. “How?”
“Like everyone else is … moving. Choosing things. Majors, careers, lives. And I’m just—” She exhaled, frustrated. “—watching it all from the backseat. Like I’m not steering anything. Like I’m wasting time I can’t afford to waste.”
“Tori…” I whispered. “You’re only wasting time if you’re not with the people you love or doing something worthwhile. And from what I’ve seen so far, you’re doing both.”
“You don’t know that.
“I do.” I made sure to keep my voice steady and even.
Tori stared at the ceiling. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing. What I want. What I’m good at. I’ve switched my major multiple times already.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Every time, it feels like choosing the wrong answer I’m going to pay for the rest of my fucking life.”
I fought the urge to pull her fully on top of me.
“You don’t have to know yet.” I watched goosebumps spread over her skin where my breath had touched it. “You just need to give yourself permission to figure it out.”
She swallowed. “I don’t have the money to figure it out. My goddamn indecisiveness has already landed me in this situation. It’s why I have to work two jobs, and at this rate I’ll never catch a break.”
There it was — her real fear. The one she had been hiding behind sarcasm and stubbornness all this time.
“You’ll figure everything out. If you … if you ever need help, I’ll be here. You don’t have to do everything alone, you know?”
Her breath hitched.
“What about you?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “What do you want? Besides tackling humongous men … or lifting them, or whatever it is you usually do.”
I huffed a laugh. “That is a priority.”
She nudged me. “It kind of seems like you’ve got it all figured out.”
“I want to go pro,” I admitted. “It’s my dream. Always has been.”
“And if it doesn’t work out?”
“My mum made me pick a backup plan.” I brushed my thumb along her hip. “So I chose something … easy. Sports science. Something I can use back home, something that won’t fry my brain.”
“Do you like it?”
