I turned to Kai. “You fell for a fake animal?”
“It’s not my fault he was very convincing.”
Tane continued, utterly delighted. “So we take the boys camping. Very standard. Fire pit, sausages, the works. And then, as night falls, I say…”
He switched into an overly serious tone, “‘Now keep your voices down, lads. Don’t want to attract the drop bears.’”
Kai covered his face with both hands. “Oh my God.”
“And Kai,” Tane continued, “goes still. Like someone unplugged him. His eyes were wide, his mouth was open and his brain just—” He made a little fizzing noise.
I snorted. “I’m listening.”
“So,” Tane went on, “I explain in great detail how drop bears are basically carnivorous koalas leaping from trees onto unsuspecting victims.”
“You traumatized me.” Kai lifted an accusing finger in his uncle’s direction.
“Only temporarily.” Tane shrugged. “He spent the entire night sleeping inside his sleeping bag like a burritoso no ‘drop bear’ could get him. All you could see were a pair of terrified little eyes.”
Kai groaned into his palms. “I’m never talking to you again.”
Tane leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “And then, when a possum knocked over the kettle, Kai screamed so loud three wallabies fled the area.”
I wheezed. “Oh my GOD.”
Kai dropped his hands, his cheeks flushing. “I was ELEVEN.”
“And brave. Such a big, brave boy,” Tane added, smirking. “We all remember the burrito battle stance.”
Tane hopped up, bent his knees, and curled his arms into his chest like he was about to roll down a hill. Kai swore viciously.
I wiped tears from my eyes. “Okay. This one might beat the nativity play.”
“It does,” Tane stated proudly. “It’s the undefeated champion.”
Kai thumped his head gently against the table.
I, meanwhile, couldn’t stop smiling.
Once the Drop Bear story had faded into my wheezing laughter, Tane sat back with that smug uncle expression saying he was nowhere near finished ruining Kai’s life.
Kai tried to recover what dignity he had left, straightening in his seat. That’s when Tane wipedhis mouth with a napkin and remarked, far too casually, “Well, at least I didn’t bring up the name thing.”
Kai’s whole body went rigid with a snap.
“Uncle.Don’t.”
I perked up instantly. “Name thing?”
Tane gave me a look like Christmas had come early.
“Oh, he hasn’t told you? You’re in for a treat.”
Kai let out the quietest, most pathetic “please” I’ve ever heard, but his uncle ignored it with Olympic-level skill.
“His name’s actually Mikaere.”
I blinked. “Wait — really?”
