Ever loyal, Tom told him, “You were very chill when I came out to you.”
Phil snorted.“No, I wasn’t.I had a crisis afterward, wondering whether I’m a terrible friend and a homophobe, and that’s why you didn’t tell me for years.”
“Phil.”Tom looked stricken.“It’s not your fault I’m so messed up.”
“No, but it’s a little my faultI’mso messed up.”
Jax rolled his eyes.“It’s neither of your faults society is messed up.You’re just both the type to blame yourselves.”
Eyeing him warily, Phil asked, “And what type are you?”
“Oh, I get angry at everyone else and then at myself,” Jax said easily.“I’m not a paragon of good gay mental health or anything.”
Tom looked over to Jax slyly and laughed, and then Jax laughed, and Phil couldn’t help but laugh along as well.It wasn’t funny.But some mixture of the relief at having said out loud what he’d been refusing to admit to himself for the majority of his adult life, and the absurdity of sitting here, on the ludicrous couch in Tom’s awful apartment with Tom and his boyfriend while Phil contemplated getting a husband, bubbled over in his stomach and turned to laughter.
“What do you need, Phil?”Tom asked when they had all calmed down.“You want to talk more?Is there anything we should know?Any, uh, labels you’d prefer?”
Phil shuddered at the thought of finding more words.“I think we can call me bi and leave it there.”
“Nice,” Jax said and offered him a fist bump, which Phil accepted even though he thought it was dumb.
“Can we talk about hockey now?”
“Always,” Tom said.“How are you liking the PK?”
“Eh.”Phil wobbled his hand from side to side.“You’ve got Breezy on the power play and the PK.That’s a lot for him.Have you thought about Mats?”
Jax and Tom traded a wordless look of skepticism.
“I know the third D-pair has a shit plus-minus,” Phil said.“But a plus-minus doesn’t take into account who you’re on the ice with.Third D-pair is always out with the fourth offensive line, and their backcheck is nonexistent.I think if you give Mats a chance, he’ll up his game.”
“Either way, the third and fourth offensive lines need work,” Jax said.“Howie’s taking too many penalties.”
“He’s an agitator.It’s his style.”
Phil shook his head at Tom.“I can’t believe you’re defending him.”
“He’s Tom’s pet rookie.”Jax poked at Tom’s side.“They have sushi dates and everything.”
“Oh?More than one?”Phil raised his eyebrows at Tom.“I hope you ask out all the other rookies, too, or they might feel left out.”
Tom laughed.“I think Luca would bite my head off if I tried to give him helpful tips about life in the NHL.”
“He does give off this intense…” Jax snapped his fingers, looking for a comparison.“Wet cat energy.”
“Yeah, he’s prickly for a guy who’s got it made.”
“How so?”Phil asked Tom.
“One month in the NHL, and he’s playing in the first D-pair and on the power play.He’s good with women, and he looks likethat…”
“Aw, do you have a crush, babe?”Jax looked delighted at the thought.
Tom scoffed.“No way.You’re high maintenance enough for me.”
Jax’s mouth dropped open in mock affront.“Excuse me?Did you really just say that?”
“So what if I did?”
