“He thought that it was easier if the news came from me.”
My sister’s still talking when all the memories from that day five years ago flood over me. The moment Ma and I arrived at the condo, I rushed over to check if Pa was secretly waiting to surprise me. By the time I got there, my sister was standing in front of Pa’s room, blocking me from entering, watching with the dead look in her eyes.
My sister tries to come nearer and I push her away. “What did you do?!” I yell, feeling the hot tears fall down my cheeks.
“Pa knew he only had forty days, Niks.” She pauses. “H-he didn’t want to go…”
Catching Achi’s voice breaking and seeing her barely hold it together makes me sob harder.
“Butyouwanted him to go!” I wipe my eyes and force myself to look away from her. “You barely talked to him; you said all that stuff about Dr. Derrick being good for Ma—”
“I lost a dad too, Nika!” she cries out. “‘Di mo ba gets ‘yun?”
For a moment, the two of us stand still in our bedroom, the only noises coming from me and my sister trying to hold back our tears.
“He didn’t want to tell us he was leaving before, either, Niks.” Achi wipes her eyes on her sleeve. “The doctor gave him the diagnosis months before… I only found out because I picked up the phone by accident.”
Snippets of their arguments from years ago suddenly get clearer then. Achi yelling at Pa for missing doctor appointments, Pa shouting that he’s doing his best to protect the family.
Achi doesn’t say anything when she grabs the tissue box and leaves it between us. Just as I’m considering grabbing one, she’salready gained back her composure, safely locked up her emotions in a box again. “We should talk about how we’re going to explain this to Ma.”
My heart’s still hammering when she keeps talking, moving at a pace that I can’t follow.
“Maybe we can say you weren’t feeling well so I had to bring you home early from prom?” she proposes. “I could say it was from something you ate at the buffet so she doesn’t worry too much…”
The thought of lying, downplaying things to Ma again, makes me want to throw the sofa against the wall. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. My time with Pa isn’t over! I was able to get Pa back before, and I can do it a million times more if I have to. I’mnotlosing him again.
“Where are you going?” Achi calls while I storm out of the bedroom. You know what the problem was? Getting more people involved. I’ve never been a group-project person, and I’m going to solve this whole thing by doing what I do best.
Working solo.
37
The elevator reaches my floor and opens to Seph standing inside. He’s still wearing the suit and a stupid pink sash that has a glitteredProm Kingprint on it.
Truly, the last person in the world I want to see.
“Hey,” he says, the sides of his eyes crinkling again as if everything in the world is fine. “Did something happen with Achi Jackie? I was gonna go to your unit to check on you.”
“Nothing,” I mutter, trying to bypass him to the elevator.
“Whoa, wait, wait. Ilagan, hold on.” He grabs my hand. “Talk to me.”
If I wasn’t so busy talking to Seph earlier, then I would’ve caught Pa leaving.
“You missed our crowning moment. Didn’t get to use my dancing skills since Julia and Sean took over.”
If I wasn’t so busy dancing with Seph, then I could’ve stopped Pa.
“I also didn’t have time to give you this…” Seph grabs something from his suit pocket and places what looks like a plastic egg in my other hand.
“It’s supposed to be a surprise,” he says, rubbing the back of his head. “Tried to be cute with the egg thing, like a reference to your scrambled eggs.”
If I wasn’t with Seph, Pa would still be here.
After I don’t say anything, he taps my wrist. “Hey, what’s going on?”
All words escape me when Seph stares at me like he’s so desperate to help. He always makes me feel that things will be allright. What if he can fix this whole situation with Pa’s ghost too?
