I’ve fucked quite a few women but nothing has ever come close to that. I’ve never been so in tune with someone’s body before. I’ve never been so elated to watch her climax. She’s ruining other women for me. I won’t reach this peak again.
‘Missionary. Who knew?’ Minnie says, grinning from ear to ear. God she’s so damn cute.
I try not to look too pleased with myself. ‘Why didn’t we think of that before?’
Chapter 31
MINNIE
I’m dead on time. I’m never on time for anything, let alone early, but today I was so early I did a quick lap of Soho. And now it’s 10am on the dot.
The navy, panelled entrance looms in front of me, standoffish and impassable, like it’s seen my credit score and deemed me unworthy of the private members club beyond. Two girls around my age push past me and disappear inside, blithely swinging their Michael Kors bags. I guess blitheness is what happens when you’re not here for coffee with your long-lost dad.
He’s never late, it’s a real bugbear of his. I take a deep breath and lay my hand on the door but can’t bring myself to push it. There’s a fat knot in my chest, but I try to ignore it despite how much it’s restricting my breathing. I don’t think even Chris Brown could help me now.
I thought I’d come round to the idea of this. I’ve written a list of questions and practiced my delivery and everything. Why? How? What? When?Why?HOW?
But all the preparation and self-help podcasts and manifesting and talking it over with Jack can’t guarantee it’ll go well. I don’t even know what I want out of it. What outcome will make me feel like joining Channel 3, lying to Mum for months,vomiting beside a yacht in Monaco, and walking around with moderate to panic attack-inducing dread for the last week was worth it?
If he enthuses about his new life and declares he fell out of love with our family – leaving me with some semblance of closure – will that count as success? Do I want to hate him, like Mum does? Will it make my intimacy issues worse to know the depth of his betrayal?
I decide it’s better to not know, and I turn back towards the Tube.
Chapter 32
JACK
TUSCANY
‘Roberts! Watch my dive!’ I call from the pool’s edge.
‘There’s one thing all women agree on,’ Minnie says from her sun lounger underneath a stripey umbrella, ‘and it’s that the biggest ick is when men do handstands whenever they’re in a pool.’
‘Diving isn’t handstanding. It’s way cooler.’
‘It’s giving handstand energy.’ She raises her Kindle to block me out. Her loss. This dive is going to be a thing of beauty.
I soar through the air, slicing into the water like a god-damn seal. The freshness feels unreal after standing in the midday heat. When I resurface, she still isn’t looking. I pout for a moment before swimming over to her.
I’m not proud of my wobble about having invited her to Luc’s villa for the summer break. But after a metaphorical slap round the face from Georgie, I felt better, and now I can’t remember what I was nervous about. There’s no one else I’d rather be here with. She looks mind-blowing in a purple flowery bikini that rides up her arse so considerately, and shows off the toned planes of her abs. Her face is make-up free and her hair’s piled messily on top of her head. She’s flawless, even when she doesn’ttry. Seeing her like this in daylight, enjoying her all to myself, is a gift I don’t deserve.
No late-night hotel rooms, no early morning engagements, no snatches between scheduling conflicts, no bumping into each other at work and having to pretend we barely know each other. All this sneaking around is starting to make me feel like we’re doing something wrong. Like I’m hiding her.
I flick water at her and she squeals, shielding her Kindle.
‘What you reading?’ I ask.
‘Not telling.’
I lift out of the pool and shake my hair like a dog. The sun seeps into my bones and I close my eyes for a moment. It’s been so long since I could do nothing. Two weeks off before we’re back prepping for the Dutch Grand Prix at the end of August, and I’m buzzing.
‘Squidge up,’ I say.
She rolls her eyes but shifts forward on her lounger. ‘What’s wrong with the other seven beds? Urgh, you’re wet!’
I sit behind her and guide her so she’s leaning back against me. ‘This one’s my favourite.’
‘I’ll leave you two alone then and lie on that.’ She nods to the nearest bed.
