I stopped looking. Closed my eyes and leapt to the ground, bracing for impact, or maybe even wishing for it. In the fleeting freedom of descending to earth, I didn’t think too hard about it until my feet hit the picnic table square in the middle.
Saint was waiting. I jumped down to meet him and he pointed at the chapel.
The sense that I was being herded was suffocating. I fought it off, but it was the first time ever I could recall Saint being too close to me.
I walked faster to escape him and the chapel came up all too soon.
Inside, my brothers, even Decoy and Alexei, waited in their seats.
Cam stood at the head of the table, his features shuttered. Unreadable. He met my gaze with a silent question.You okay?
I ignored him and sat down, leaving myself at the mercy of Rubi’s attention instead. His kind, hazel eyes were wide as hell, but there was strength in them too, a resolve I didn’t quite understand as he stared into my fucking soul. “He didn’t cheat on you, Em.”
I reached for the bottle of water Saint had placed in front of me. Uncapped it. Changed my mind and pushed it away. “That’s not important right now.”
“Fucking is.”
“No, it ain’t,” Cam snapped. “We’ve got other things to work out before we worry about where Mateo’s getting his dick wet.”
“You’re wrong,” Rubi argued. “We’ve got to vote on this, and we can’t do that fairly if we’re all sitting here thinking he was fucking around behind Embry’s back.”
A dry, almost manic laugh breached my throat.
Beside me, Decoy slid the water back into my grasp.
I didn’t take it. I swivelled to him, latching onto the stoic expression that was so typically him. “Didyouknow?”
My question was sharp enough to quiet the table.
Decoy met my stare with his honest eyes and shook his head. “Course I didn’t. Me and Mateo ain’t close enough to share shit like that. But honestly? It doesn’t shock me to learn he’s a girl dad.”
“Why not?”
“He knew about stuff that never occurred to the rest of us.” Decoy reached for the tea mug in front of him and wrapped his hands around it. “Like, you’re all amazing with Ives and I’m more grateful than you’ll ever know, but it’s always him that comes at me with the practical shit, like how to button those stupid fucking onesies, and the weird plaits she wanted. I thought maybe he had a bunch of sisters or something.”
The Mateo I knew was an only child, but that meant nothing. Not anymore.
I let Decoy off the hook and dumped my head on my folded arms while Rubi and Cam resumed their argument. Truth be told, they were both right, but I didn’t have the energy to contribute. I tuned them out until Nash spoke up.
“You think he was pretending to go get laid?”
“Makes more sense than what we believed before today.” Rubi stuck a joint in his mouth. “He’s been in love with Em since forever. It’s never sat right that he was fucking off for days at a time to bang someone else.”
Cam finally sat down and softened the glare he was bestowing on his oldest friend. “You might be right about that. The girl from the Joker... there’s no way he fucked her. Been trying since I was seventeen and she’s still as gay as she was back then.”
“It did not cross your mind that perhaps it was just your cock she didn’t want?” Alexei’s tone was droll, but his gaze was hard. He wouldn’t entertain this side show for long.
Cam knew it too. “Whatever. The point is, that for once in his life, Rubes might be on the money. How often was Mateo dropping off the map? Twice a month? That fits with what he told us about visiting the kid, right?”
“Liliana.” Saint set his elbows on the table. “Don’t dehumanise her.”
“I have to,” Cam said.
“No.”
It was clear in that moment which way Saint would vote.
Cam sighed, scratching his dark beard. He was always a man carrying too much, but he seemed older with it now. Tired. “All right.” He leaned forward and folded his hands together, massaging the palms with his thumbs. “We have a decision to make before we move forward, and as far as I see it, these are the options: we kick them out, or we all fucking die trying to save them.”
