The drawer was out so far it was hanging by its hinges. I kicked it and it fell off, the rabble of oil bottles and Polo wrappers crashing to the floor. Mateo always bought me lemon, but I had others too—frankincense, ravensara, and the jasmine one I never used because it made him cough.
I scooped the jasmine up and shoved it in my pocket.
Fuck him.
Fuck thisplace. I knew Cam. As hard as he appeared, there was no way he was going to turn his back on a brother with a kid and a pregnant old lady.
Pregnant.
Pain surged in my belly again, as if my insides were abandoning ship. I hadn’t looked too closely at Juana, but I hadn’t seen a bump. Which meant it was early days. That Mateo had slept with her in the last two months.
This shit is gonna kill me.
I bent over, hands on my knees, breathing hard. I couldn’t remember when he’d been MIA apart from the night after the Smuggler’s Beat gig in Porth Luck.
I couldn’t remember when that had happened either. Just his bullshit story about the girl with the great tits.
Thegaygirl.
Mother of Christ, Alexei had been right all along.
Run.
This shit was here to stay, but I wasn’t. I had ties to this club that would bind me forever, but I couldn’t be here.
I shouldered my bag and threw open my bedroom door.
Saint blocked my path.
He barged me backwards before I could take a breath and closed the door behind him with a click that was as quiet as he was. “No.”
Rage simmered in my veins. Saint was immovable when his mind was set on something, but he was fellable. We all were. “Move.”
He shook his head, widening his stance. “No.”
“I need to go.”
“No.”
My hands curled into fists. I stepped closer to Saint, invading his personal space. “Give me a reason.”
Saint choked, a strangled sound escaping him instead of words. He clenched his fists and banged them on the already fragile door. “I said it wrong.”
“Which bit?”
“About the girl. The baby isn’t Mateo’s—I never thought it was and I should’ve said that first.”
I wasunderwater.
The world was moving too fast.
One minute I was entwined with a man I’d given every part of myself to, the next I was watching my brothers tear his life apart, searching for answers that made no fucking sense to me. How it was that Mateo banging someone behind my back was the easiest to understand, I had no idea.
I shook my head, struggling to comprehend. “I—”
Nope. Couldn’t speak. Or I’d hurl again.
Saint gripped my forearms and walked me backwards, easing me onto the edge of my unmade bed before I collided with it.
