“I know.” Kai tosses the lock into my face. “But I don’t like hiding from it, and you’ve seen me naked, so…I don’t want to hide from you either.”
“You’d have trouble hiding that—”
Kai seals my mouth with his hand.
I laugh and wrench myself free. In a moment that should be kind of tragic, there’s a light in him that wasn’t there yesterday.Maybe you have a magic hand.
Yup. It’s the logical answer.
Orwhat we did made him feel good, and I’m here for that. I’m here for whatever he wants, cos this dude enchants me and it has nothing to do with his dick.
With Herculean effort, I pull myself back to the conversation that matters. “Later is a loose term. And it’s not hiding to leave things where they belong. If you want to talk, we can do that. If not, we can…” I trail off as it occurs to me that I don’t know the end of that sentence. That I’m thinking out loud in a moment where I should be listening.
Kai stares at me. His shoulders rise and fall with the heavy breaths that punctuated last night. He backs me against the counter, bracing his forearm on the cabinet above my head. “We can…what?”
No words come to me. They should. I’m the one who knows how this works. How crazy-hot hand jobs lead toother things. Unforgettable things. Things I’ll do with him a thousand times if he wants me to. But I can’t seem to say it and we’re running out of time.
Kai leans down, to kiss me, I assume, but he bypasses my mouth and goes for the base of my throat instead.
The move throws me. I’m not ready. I haven’ttrainedfor this moment, andI sink into the sweet sensation of his lips on the sensitive spot he finds like a heat-seeking missile.
I bite back a moan. Shiver and harden. It’s all I can do not to push back and slam us together.
Calm your tits.
I breathe through my nose, eyes screwed shut. Fighting and floating. An electric mix of emotions that’s so fucking good. “Yeah,” I grit out. “I mean. We can do this. If you want.”
It comes out more garbled than it was in my head, which is quite the fucking feat.
Kai chuckles and scrapes his teeth over my skin. He raises his head with a smirk that would beevilcoming from any other man and backs the fuck up. “Cool. See you later, then.”
Heleaves.
And I hate him as much as I want him.
14
KAI
Later never comes. For three days straight we’re like ships in the night. I fall asleep waiting for him. Wake up when he’s already in bed and pace the apartment till dawn. Then I pass out and he’s gone when I wake up. It’s a clusterfuck, but the notes he tacks to the refrigerator make it better. Ridiculous things. Mouse sketches. Simple shit that makes me smile. He’s not here, but the ever-growing pile in the kitchen drawer helps me feel far from alone.
Eat the beans, dude. And the spinach. Cos you need bigger muscles like I need longer hair.
Kaiiiii. U so pretty x
It’s been a hot mess of a week when he leaves my favorite.
You’re beautiful when you dream. There’s food in the fridge. Eat it. You’re gonna need your strength.
Interesting. That day sends me to an off-schedule therapy appointment because Dr. Canon is about to go on vacation. It whacks me out, but I tell her about Joss, and it feels good. I go home and head straight upstairs. Shower and sit my nervous ass on the couch. I’m alive with anticipation. Restless energy burns through me, and I wonder if I’m getting a taste of what it’s like for Joss.
Then my theory craps out because despite feeling so awake my eyeballs hurt, I fall asleep. Again. After months of fuckin’ insomnia. By the time I jump awake, it’smorningand the apartment is so empty I want to scream.
Joss is gone.
Like, properly gone. He’s not in the kitchen. He’s taken Tanner’s bullshit car, and I have no way of checking in with him, because hestillhasn’t fixed up his phone.
Andof course, Tanner is nowhere to be found either.
