Baby. Not even my own mother had ever called me that, and until now, I’d never wanted them to. Never wanted someone to look at me the way Rae was and mean it.
And fuck, I needed him to mean it. I forced myself to pull away from his touch again. “Explain it to me.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to stop getting worked up. You’re ill, Cash. You’re hurt, and you’ve got hypothermia. You need to rest. Lie down, put your oxygen tubes back on, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
I hadn’t noticed the arctic-blasting tubes slipping from my face, or the IV cannula in the back of my hand. Somewhere in the mess of my mind, I’d become aware of being in a hospital room, but waking up to Rae had robbed me of logic. I felt like shit, and abruptly remembered why. Like a deflating balloon, adrenaline drained from me. The room swam, but nausea was replaced by crushing fatigue.I’m so fucking tired.
Rae put the tubes back on my face. He pulled a blanket up to my chest, squeezed my hand, and my desperate need to hate him faded a touch. “I’m going to start from the beginning. But try and understand that I don’t know everything, okay? So it might not make sense just yet.”
I nodded, willing him to continue so I wouldn’t have to find the energy to speak.
He took the hint. “A month or so ago, I started getting texts from an unknown number, saying the person at the other end could help me. I ignored them at first, but after a while, it got under my skin, so I responded.”
Disquiet prickled my nerves. I had no right to be jealous of Rae communicating with whoever he wanted, but knowing the punchline of his story was a double-edged sword.
He took a breath and continued. “Because of all the hassle we’ve had online, and what I knew about what happened to you, I was suspicious from the start. I took it to Fletch and Meg, and we decided to engage a bit more. See if we could draw them out enough to expose them. Never for one minute did we think it was genuine. We just needed to know if it was the police or someone inside the hunt.”
“You didn’t think it was Goon?”
Rae shook his head. “No. What he’s done to you is typical. He’s not bright enough for much more.”
“Fair enough.”
“Is it? Cash, you have no idea how badly I wish it’d been me he’d caught. I’m so fucking sorry this happened to you.”
So was I, but more than that, I needed Rae to keep talking.
I tapped my thumb on his knuckles. He smiled a little, but sobered as he continued his tale.
“We don’t know how they got my number, or why they chose me, but they got braver, texting me all the time. That text I got in the van about the hunt location? That was them, so I started to figure whoever they were, they were working inside the hunt.” Rae pressed his thumb deep into my palm. “They called me after the hunt, when I was done with the police. They wanted to meet, and stupidly, I agreed. Two blokes showed up, but I had no idea it was your ex, I swear—”
“Zander. His name’s Zander.”
“Whatever. I don’t care what his name is. I didn’t know it was him, but I knew straight away that him and his mate were rats. They tried to spin that they were reforming hunters, trying to shut it down from the inside. They offered me information on tap, but I told them to fuck off. That was the one and only time I met with them, and I had zero plans to repeat the experience.” Rae shuddered. “I felt dirty as I walked home. I was desperate to tell you everything, but you were gone.”
Guilt lanced my chest, but I put it in a chokehold. I wanted to believe him so fucking badly, but there was scar tissue around my heart. A thick wall of suspicion and doubt I didn’t have the coherency to think around.
Rae let go of my hand and straightened. His shoulders were slumped, but he didn’t break my gaze. “Look, I understand that you can’t take my word for it, but speak to other people…Fletch, Meg, the one copper who doesn’t seem to be a total prick. Maybe even reach out to your ex. There’s got to be someone you trust, I just wish it was me.”
He was gone before I could stop him, slipping out of the room like a ghost. My heart called out for him to come back, but I had nothing left. My eyes closed as though my eyelids were weighted with lead, and I knocked out so hard I should’ve fallen through the bed.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cash
I slept for a long time, I could tell by the added thickness to Dom’s beard when I woke to him looming over me. “Wow. You look good, bro.”
“Glad to see you didn’t leave your sense of humour in the woods. How are you feeling?”
“Fucked.”
“Good. You look it.”
“Nice.”
“Never said I was.” Dom sat in the bedside chair. “Seriously, though, I thought you were dead, so if you want to take the piss, I’ll take it.”
“I’m okay, Dom.”
