“He’s not okay,” Dom said grimly when he appeared a few minutes later. “No broken bones, though he’s clearly had a good kicking, but he’s cold, man. It’s gonna take them a while to warm him up.”
“Can we see him?” Lucky asked.
Dom shook his head. “Not right now. But they’re going to move him to a side room soon. Then we can sit with him. Rae?”
“Hmm?” I glanced up, blinking. I’d hung on Dom’s every word, but my focus had gone. “Yeah?”
Dom slung a heavy, warm arm around my shoulders. “He hasn’t woken up yet, but I’ve told them you’re his boyfriend, okay? You can be with him as soon as they get him out of the main department.”
Boyfriend.After everything, I couldn’t be sure Cash even wanted it that way, but I nodded, and leaned against Dom. Semantics be damned, I just needed to be with Cash.
I dropped back in my seat while Dom called Cash’s uncle in Ireland. Lucky took my hand. “He’ll be okay, Rae. Cash wouldn’t let someone like Goon kill him.”
“It’s not Goon, though, is it? It’s the fucking weather.”
Lucky didn’t answer, just turned his attention to the mottled linoleum floor at his feet. I felt bad for snapping at him, but a nurse came to see us before I could apologise.
She scanned the corridor, clearly searching for Dom. He caught her gaze and jerked his head at Lucky and me “Tell them. I’m talking to his family.”
The nurse nodded and approached us. “He’s awake,” she said. “The consultant hasn’t been back, but would one of you like to sit with him? I’m not sure he knows what’s going on.”
I was on my feet before Lucky could react. “I will. Fuck, I mean, is that okay?”
Lucky nodded. “Of course. We’ll come by when it’s a good time. Just tell him we love him.”
“Of course.”
I followed the nurse through the A&E department, trying not to notice the distressed groans around every corner and wonder if Cash was in that much pain too. Scents of blood and disinfectant were heavy in the air, and despite sabbing sending me to this very hospital more than once, I couldn’t quite believe that we’d ended up here.
“He’s through there,” the nurse said. “Second door on the right.”
I left her behind, pulled by an invisible rope, and slipped into Cash’s room.
He was facing away from the door, curled up on his side under a thick blanket. I rounded the bed and touched his shoulder, then recoiled at his ice-cold skin.Jesus.How long had he been outside? Had he been by that tree all night long?
The thought alone was enough to make me puke, but I swallowed it down. I had no right to feel any kind of way about anything. I’d spent the night tucked up safe in Cash’s van, never once considering the possibility that he hadn’t made it home. That he’d been caught by a man I’d exposed him to, and put through God knew what.
This was my fault.
I sucked in a breath and laid my hands on Cash again, gripping his shoulder and cupping his bruised face. Oxygen tubes snaked into his nose, and his lips were dry and cracked. He looked as though he’d been adrift for weeks, battered and malnourished.I’m so sorry this happened to you.
As though he’d heard my thoughts, Cash’s eyes fluttered open. He gazed up at me, and for a moment, I was bathed in glorious green, lost in him like we’d never been apart.
Then he blinked, and everything changed.
He sat up, wincing, and pushed me away. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
***
Cash
In another world, I might’ve felt sorry for Rae. The hurt in his face as I pushed him away cut me to the bone, but I couldn’t let myself feel it. I couldn’t let myself feel anything for him ever again.
“Cash—”
“Don’t.” I held up my hands to keep him away. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Hear what?”
