His frown deepened. “Yes and no. It’s the right location from a socio-economic point of view, but we’d have to churn up some greenbelt land to make it viable, and I don’t want to do that.”
I had little understanding of the technicalities of Dom’s social housing crusade, but I knew enough to take his earnest concerns seriously. Dom’s wealth was alien to me, his desire to do the right thing, no matter the cost, not so much. “What exactly are you looking for?”
Dom spread his hands, as though whatever he said would never make sense. “I met a young family recently who’d gone to live in a town because they couldn’t afford a house in the rural community they’d come from. It was cheaper to rent a flat in Peterborough than to live where they’d been born. It didn’t make sense to me until I looked into it and realised there were hardly any housing projects in affluent villages like this one.”
“That’s why they’re affluent. They’ve kicked the poor people out.”
“And what are you left with?”
I snorted. “A bunch of tossers who hunt foxes for fun, I’d imagine—” A lightbulb illuminated my brain. “How big does this land have to be?”
Dom shrugged. “I don’t have a specific plot in mind. We’re just looking to rebuild some communities, I guess. Why? You got somewhere in mind?”
I started the car engine. “Maybe. Let’s go see.”
Rae’s Bedfordshire village was half an hour away. We made it in twenty-five minutes and I led Dom down the lane to the gate. It had been hanging off the last time I’d been here, but someone had fixed it since then. Put a new post in with stronger hinges. For some reason, that seemed symbolic, but I couldn’t figure why.
It was a dry day, so the camp was alive with activity. I scanned the bustle for Rae, but Meg caught sight of me before I could find him, and came to meet us.
She greeted me with a hug, and showed no flicker of recognition when I introduced Dom. “It’s so nice to see you,” she said. “It’s a shame Rae’s not here. I know he’s missed you.”
“What?”
“Rae,” she repeated as though it was the only reason on earth I could be here. “He left last night. I’m not sure when he’ll be back.”
She said other words, but I didn’t hear her, or Dom when he moved past me to explore the hair-brained idea I’d somehow put in motion. I scanned the camp again, as if I believed Meg had lied to me. My gaze fell on the van Rae called home, and my heart sank into the mud.
I was here. Rae wasn’t.
Chapter Sixteen
Rae
My childhood home was some next level weirdness. Most of the rooms were practically empty, and then there were random corners of chaos. Riots of emotions that were, in every sense, largely ignored. As a child, my basement bedroom had been my sanctuary.
It still was.
After an awkward dinner with my parents, I retreated there, curled up, surrounded by a life I barely remembered, and tried not to think about the fact that Cash was a ten minute tube ride away, a task made easier by the reason I’d come to London in the first place: to make enough money to pay a housing lawyer to look into our case. I had a journalism degree and contacts in good places, but after a day of trying to convince editors I could run my mouth professionally, I was fucking knackered. My brain was mush. No thought was coherent and I just wanted to sleep.
I listened to my parents moving around upstairs, bumbling through routines that hadn’t changed since I was a boy. Dinner cleared away, dishwasher set. An hour of evening news before retiring at exactly ten o’clock. My mum filling water glasses, my dad taking his second shower of the day. Picturing his face when I told him my home barely had running water made me smile, but my mirth was fleeting. My parents were pleasant people, but we had nothing in common. The path I’d chosen for myself mystified them, and the distance I’d grown up with had only widened in adulthood. I had no interest in their rice importing business, and nothing I did made any sense to them. They preferred my sister, and most days, I was okay with that.
My mind returned to the second day of meetings I had set up for tomorrow. Buzzfeed, theObserver,and theMetro.I was holding out for a gig at theObserver, but at this point I’d take anything. In a world where knobheads like the Huffington Post expected journalists to write for free, I was lucky to have paid leads. I just needed some fucker to call me back before it was time to ditch another phone.
Time slipped away at my parent’s house, meaningless and moot as it had always been. Their activity ceased, and the night grew as silent as London ever did. Unable to find rest, I got up and ventured to the kitchen for water. The tiles were cold beneath my socked feet, and the glass felt alien in my hand. The water tasted wrong. As ever when I spent time in this house, the mantra played over and over in my head.What the fuck am I doing here?And even though on this occasion I categorically knew the answer, it still seemed wrong.
Everything did.
I retreated downstairs. My room was cool and dark, illuminated only by my phone screen, lit up by a new message. Disquiet forgotten, I lunged for it and sat down on the bed as I swiped it open.
Cash:u prob know already, but i went by ur camp today with Dom. he might buy the land if it works out. sorry u weren’t there. felt weird.
It was the longest message he’d ever sent me, and it came with a grenade of a dozen emotions. Relief, excitement, and crushing disappointment that I’d missed him.
And then there was the tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps he’d missed me too, but before my heart could get to that, I needed to know more about a millionaire sport star potentially buying Fletch’s land.
Rae:Where are you?
Cash:home. y?
