ChapterNine
Pete
I woke to utter silence, save Ash’s soft breathing behind me. His arms were clamped tight around my waist, his legs hooked over mine, and as the tiny wooden cabin solidified in my sleep-clouded haze, I felt like the luckiest man in the world.Hestayed.
Ash stirred. I shifted in his embrace and turned to face him just as his eyes flutteredopen. “Hey.”
He blinked. “Hey,yourself.”
“Um… I think itsnowed.”
“Seriously?” Ash glanced at the window. A glittery sheen covered the wooden frame and the decking beyond. “Is itheavy?”
“I don’t think so, but I haven’t looked. To be honest, I have no idea whereweare.”
“We’re just outsideMedora.”
“I mean our immediate surroundings. I know we’re in the park, but it was dark when we got here. We could be marooned on an island for allIknow.”
A ghost of a grin brightened Ash’s face. “You wouldn’t have noticed thewater?”
“Nope.Wouldyou?”
His smile faded. “Probably not. Should we checkitout?”
Lacking any better ideas, I sat up and fumbled for my coat. The fire Ash had built last night was long burned out, and the cabin wascold.A sudden stab of homesickness had me yearning for our fierce heating system, but as we stumbled off the hard bed and to the window, all thoughts of Chicago were eclipsed by the view.Wow. Most of North Dakota had passed me by, but it appeared that we’d saved the best of it till last. What I’d thought was snow was actually frost, and it covered the grassy landscape as far as the eye could see. A soft mist swirled around the trees, and in the distance, a herd of deer had gathered to see thesunrise.
It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Ash slipped away and returned with my boots. “Come on. Let’s gooutside.”
We ventured onto the decking, mesmerized, and watched as more wildlife appeared on the prairie the cabin overlooked. The deer moved on and were replaced by wild horses, and then, a little while later, bison. Eagles called in the sky above us, and every moment we stood there, I wondered if I’d woken up to a differentworld.
A wonderful world. Because with Ash pressed so tight against me, it was hard to recall the blackness that had chased us all thewayhere.
Ash kissed my cheek and nuzzled my neck. “We don’t have to talk about it ever again if you don’twantto.”
I sighed. “Where has that ever gotten us inthepast?”
“I meant the details, not how it makesyoufeel.”
“Oh.”
“I still think you’redepressed.”
“You don’t think it; you know it.” And so did I. The fact that I’d missed it all this time made me nauseous. “But I don’t know how I can fix it without telling a therapist, or whatever, whathappened.”
“You’d see atherapist?”
The surprise lacing his words broke my heart. “I honestly don’t know. It’s the last thing I want to do, but you were right when you said we can’t go on like this. Ash, it’s not like I’m sad all the time, because I’m not. Most days I don’t feelanything.”
“Which means when you do, it all hits you at once.” Ash turned his gaze to the horizon. “I know how it works, fucker, even if our demons weardifferenthats.”
Of course he did. “I’m sosorry.”
“Stopsayingthat.”
“Sorr—okay.” I pursed my lips. Ash smoothed them out with his thumb, and his touch kept the resurging panic at bay. I stared at him, losing myself in the face I knew so well, and then I leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss that seemed to catch him offguard.
He stumbled backward into the railing, but I steadied him and pulled him back to me. Like a match on dry tinder, the spark between us roared to life, and I forgot all about the elk we’d spotted heading down to our frosty clearing and shoved him towards thecabin.
