The place was deserted, save Lena on the front desk. Brix glanced at the clock. Oops. He’d been nursing Dottie for the best part of three hours, and it had passed in a flash. The only appointment left was Calum’s—a quick rework of an existing piece that wouldn’t take long.
Brix placed Dottie on Calum’s bench and looked around for paper and pencils. He tore a page out of a sketchbook and folded it in half, and half again, then put pencil to paper, and said everything and nothing in five short words.
Meet me at the cave.
“You know we don’t get taught how to climb cliffs in Reading, right?”
Calum ducked into the cave, his cheeks flushed, mist droplets clinging to his dark hair. Despite his obvious bemusement, he was more beautiful than ever, and it was all Brix could do not to jump on him, tumble him to the dusty cave floor, and forgo all he had to say before they could leave their demons behind.
Brix settled for a nervous smile. “Good job you learned in Porthkennack, then, eh?”
“I have Porthkennack to thank for a lot of things.”
“Me too.” In spite of the wind howling outside, warmth filled the cave and Brix’s heart. He gave in to it and grabbed Calum’s hand, yanking him farther inside. “Did you find Dottie?”
Calum stumbled into Brix’s side before he steadied himself on a nearby crate. “Find her? I fucking fell on her like a long-lost lover.” His choice of words did odd things to Brix. Calum squeezed his hand. “Seriously, thank you so much. I was going to send her off to be repaired. It never occurred to me to ask you.”
Brix shrugged, twining his fingers with Calum’s. “I should’ve fixed her when you brought her home. I could see how special she was.”
“I bought her at Dalston flea market the day I got my apprenticeship. Didn’t use her much until after you left, though. Dunno why, ’cause I’ve felt lost inking without her down here.”
“I left four years ago. You’ve had a long time to become dependent on her.” Brix grinned. He knew all too well how it felt to be attached to a favourite gun. “She is beautiful. I wish we had more vintage machines. Lee and Jory don’t know they’re born with them flashy new ones.”
Calum chuckled, but then his expression sobered, his eyes curious. “You gonna tell me why you’ve summoned me up here?”
“I’m gonna try.” Brix inclined his head to a clear corner of the cave, a place he and Abel had often holed up when they should’ve been at school. “Sit with me?”
“Always.”
Brix sat, tugging Calum with him. “Do you mean that?”
“That I’ll always sit with you? Whenever you need me to? Yeah, Brix, I do. And I meant it after I knew you were HIV positive. I’m not afraid of it for my sake, only of what it could mean for you if something goes wrong.”
It was Calum all over to tell Brix everything he needed to know in one breath. No guessing, no games. No hiding from the truth. “You know things could go wrong, don’t you? I’m undetectable now, but that might not last if I become resistant to the meds, or liver-toxic from the Truvada . . .”
Brix didn’t have the stomach to list any more ways the shadows lurking in his blood might kill him, and it seemed Calum didn’t have the heart to listen either. He pressed a finger to Brix’s lips and shook his head.
“You told me you had every chance of living as long, and as healthily, as you might’ve done without HIV. I’m going with that until the universe gives me a reason not to. But whatever happens, I got you on this, Brix, I promise. The days of you facing this alone are over.”
“I shouldn’t ask that of you, and you shouldn’t stay with me because you feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you. I love you.”
“Why?”
It wasn’t the response Brix’s heart was screaming, but Calum’s smile seemed to know that. He put his arm around Brix and held him tight against him. “Because you’re the strongest, kindest motherfucker I’ve ever known, and I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to see it.”
“You know I love you too, don’t you?”
“Some days. Others I still find it hard to believe you’d want to, but I’m working on that.”
“I can help?”
“You already have. I felt like a different man when I went back to London, a man who never would’ve let Rob shit all over him, and the only reason I didn’t go and fucking tell him so was you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah . . . you. Who needs closure on bullshit that was never real when I can sit in a damp cave right here, right now?”
