“Zodiac is the father of your kid.”
“Stop rubbing it in,” I said and rested my hands on my brother’s chest. “I don’t like wanting him. It makes me feel weak and stupid, but I can’t shake these feelings. That’s why I want to avoid him.”
“Elle, you need to face these feelings now before the baby is born. You were so emotional after Sutter’s birth. Why postpone confronting Zodiac until you’re more vulnerable?”
“That’s easy for you to say. You went cuckoo over an awesome fox like Ivy. She was able to fit into your life, and you sacrificed nearly nothing.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Are you really comparing your interest in sweet as sugar Ivy to my feelings for possibly evil Zodiac?”
Boone jumped to my aid by saying, “Elle has a point. Zodiac is an odd guy. He didn’t seem bothered at all by her announcement.”
Nodding, I pointed at Boone. “He gets it.”
Clint sighed and shook his head. “A part of you wanted Zodiac to know the truth. I wouldn’t have been able to talk you into doing this today if you weren’t on board.”
Hugging him, I admitted, “I like seeing Zodiac. But it also makes me feel bad.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s not a man willing to be loved.”
“You never know. Exile seemed like a royal fucking grump when I met him. But he warmed up real fast once he got a chance with Lula. People change.”
Nodding, I hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry I said you didn’t give up anything for Ivy. I know it was difficult for you to share your space with that itty-bitty woman.”
“It really was,” Clint murmured, holding on as if he’d been more worried about Zodiac’s reaction than he let on. “But it worked out. I want to believe things will work out with Zodiac, the baby, and you. It just might not work out like we expect. We need to stay flexible.”
“At least, you know this baby’s daddy isn’t a dog,” Boone said helpfully. “Remember how much you worried about Sutter being born goofy?”
Frowning at Boone, I told Clint, “I don’t want Zodiac to hang out around Sutter.”
“Because he’ll say something gross, and you’ll never like him again?”
“No, because he’ll say something gross, and I’ll still like him. But I’ll feel extra bad about my feelings because he grossed out my boy,” I said and stepped back. Tears pooled in my eyes. “Sutter is my everything. I know I’ll make room in my heart for this new baby. Andmaybe I’m capable of loving Zodiac, even if he can’t love me. But Sutter must be protected.”
“No one is messing with him. He’s also used to people saying gross things. Just yesterday, you talked with Vanessa about waxing her lady region while he was sitting nearby.”
“It’s called a pussy, Clint,” I said and patted his cheek. “Grow up and use your big boy words.”
Grinning now, Clint realized our heart-to-heart was over. I was tired after getting wound up over Zodiac’s reaction. I was also a little disappointed when he didn’t flip out and call me a lying whore.What kind of self-respecting biker president didn’t accuse a one-night stand of lying about him being her baby daddy?
Zodiac might be a punk ass, willing to take my shit. Or he might realize I’m frigid and figure I’d never spread for anyone else. I wished I could better remember the quickie we shared. Mostly, I wished I knew why I told him yes when I said no so many other times.
ZODIAC
The clinic was waiting for me. I filled out paperwork and got my cheek swabbed in less than twenty minutes. Leaving the clinic, I told Exile to take me somewhere to eat.
“You and I need to talk,” I grumbled before starting my motorcycle.
Exile took the lead, guiding me to a pizza place not far from the Sleepy Eye Community, where Elle and her people lived.
Inside, we ordered a pizza with all the fixings and a pitcher of soda. Once settled at a table, I sized up my VP.
Dan “Exile” Shaw had caught my eye as soon as he entered our clubhouse with York. They weren’t looking to join the Black Rainbow. York’s uncle had been a member until he took a bullet while riding down the highway. There was some bad blood between York’s family and our old club president, Wrecker.
York had returned to Baton Rouge still fucked up from his time in the Marines. A bomb nearly tore his head off. He would always wear the scars of that attack, but he was still solid in all the ways his uncle had been.
