When I first met Sutter, I thought he was a stuffy nerd. Then, I realized he was a badass like his grandpa and uncle. As he cried that night, I saw a little boy scared of the darkness outside an unfamiliar place. He was my responsibility, but I didn’t know how to fix this.
I hated the heaviness in my chest. The only time I felt something similar was when Nova was shot. But back then, I shook off my guilt and moved on. I couldn’t do the same thing with Sutter.
“Do you want us to drive back down tomorrow?” Shay asked Sutter.
Sutter’s little face hid nothing. He was scared and homesick. The boy didn’t want them to come back.He wanted to go home.
“We’ll drive to Little Memphis this weekend,” Elle said when I only stood there uselessly. “Will that help?”
Despite nodding, Sutter touched the screen as if longing for his grandparents. I instantly started asking myself hard questions.Could I handle having Sutter and Elle here only part-time? Was I willing to walk away from my club and live in Little Memphis?
As I came to terms with what I was willing to sacrifice for these people, Elle and Sutter prepared for bed.
“Can he sleep with us tonight?” Elle asked, sounding nervous.
“Do you think I’ll say no?”
“I don’t know. Have you ever shared a bed with a kid before? You might want to wear a cup.”
Though I gave her a tight smile, I felt under attack. With anyone else, I gave zero fucks about their view of me. But Elle and Sutter held the power to make me feel like shit.
Sutter climbed into the middle of the king-sized bed and looked at me with his big gray eyes. He was clearly scared of me. Glancing in a mirror, I realized I was wearing a cold fucking expression.
“I feel guilty,” I told them. “You’re upset because I moved you here.”
“No,” Elle said as she climbed into bed next to Sutter. “We’re upset because humans get homesick. Don’t you miss your apartment?”
“No.”
Grinning at me, she asked, “Not even a tiny bit?”
“I guess I do miss walking downstairs to the clubhouse.”
Elle patted the other side of Sutter. “I miss my family and friends, but I also miss Little Memphis. I knew where everything was. I recognized people everywhere I went. The smells and sounds were familiar. It’ll take time for us to feel that way about our new home in Baton Rouge.”
Sutter exhaled deeply and nodded. He seemed to shake off his earlier fear. Elle’s calm demeanor got him thinking rationally again.
“I love you,” Elle told her son and then smiled at me. “I love you, Zodiac. But I’m tired and need sleep now. Tomorrow, we’ll spend another day getting used to our new home.”
Elle and Sutter looked so comfortable in the bed. They watched me with their matching gazes. I finally stopped assuming the worst and joined them in bed.
“It’s the dark,” Elle said in a sleepy voice as the TV played soundlessly in the corner. “It makes us forget all the cool stuff about our property. But once the sun comes up, we’ll see everything we love about our home. We won’t be so homesick then.”
Elle was right. The sun came up in the morning, and I awoke to find a sleepy Sutter watching me. We shared a smile before slipping out of bed while Elle slept.
I admired her for a moment. She was the best-looking woman I’d ever seen, and she loved me.
When she said those words, they meant something. Elle wasn’t in awe of me like a club slut. She knew what kind of man I was. On a daily basis, I got on her nerves. Elle was always willing to push back if my mouth bothered her.
But she still loved me.Her feelings were reliable. She gave up her home to make a new life with me. Not for the baby.She was here for me.
Over the next few weeks, the number of bad moods lessened. In the mornings, I rode with my club and checked on our assets. Mostly, I wanted to be seen out and about to keep our enemies from getting any ideas about me going soft now that I had a woman and kids.
While I worked, Elle and Sutter swam and studied. One day, they decided to paint Sutter’s room a pale blue. I came home to find a wall partially done. Elle had literally stopped halfway up the wall and decided to take a nap.
Her pregnancy and the humidity didn’t mesh well. She was constantly tired and queasy. I bought a couch for the main house’s living room. She rested on it in front of a fan while a couple of guys and I finished up Sutter’s room.
A month after we bought the place, we had managed to finish updating the kitchen, living room, Sutter’s room, and the main suite. We threw a housewarming party, and the Crimson Guard rode downto celebrate. Half of them bunked with us, and the other half slept at Exile’s place.
