“Enough to name the baby Trent Megatron Bondi?”
“No, but enough to name the baby Trent MegatronReedBondi.”
Zodiac broke into a great smile. “That’ll have to do.”
I waited to see if Zodiac would say those three little words to me. He narrowed his gaze, as if knowing what I was thinking. Rather than get into a staring contest, I rested on the couch and put up my feet.
“Sutter, why don’t you tell Zodiac your plan?”
Zodiac quickly agreed to Sutter’s idea, clearly wishing to avoid a rental place. Sutter’s anxiety lessened once he knew we wouldn’t need to move twice.
As the whole family walked down to the hotel’s restaurant, everyone was in a better mood. We talked about renovations, what to bring from Little Memphis, and what to buy new. I sensed Shay would be happiest if we left most of our current stuff back in my parents’ house. That way, she could feel like we were still there.
Zodiac listened to everyone’s ideas without adding many of his own. I assumed he was overwhelmed. I didn’t blame him. I felt exhausted after the last week. Occasionally, I found myself flashing back to the shooting and that bitch getting torn up in the intersection. The world often felt chaotic.
Later that night, in the hotel suite, while Sutter slept in the next room, I rested on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Zodiac had fucked me earlier. I felt physically content, but my mind was racing. I kept thinking of my friends in Little Memphis. I’d never been away from my parents or Clint for more than a few weeks. Baton Rouge suddenly felt scary. I would be here all alone with Sutter, a baby, and a man with no experience in a real family.
Climbing back into bed, Zodiac kissed my belly and then my throat. He’d been oddly quiet all evening. He had also shown zero swagger. I started to worry he had already changed his mind but didn’t know how to stop the momentum of a plan he set in motion.
“I do, too,” Zodiac said and covered us with the blanket.
“Do what?”
“I do love you,” Zodiac said and brushed his lips across my cheek. “I even love you enough to give up the name Megatron.”
Turning toward him, I smiled triumphantly. “From the second we met, I knew you were my guy.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, I knew, but I worried you didn’t know. That’s why I hid from you. I was afraid I was the only one who knew.”
Grinning, Zodiac murmured, “I’ll pretend that made perfect sense.”
“I’m scared to move here. Are we rushing this thing?”
“Well, if you had told me about the baby as soon as you knew, you’d already be living here.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes,” Zodiac said and turned off the light. “It was inevitable. That’s why I’m willing to follow you back to Little Memphis if you’re unhappy here in a year.”
The chaos in my mind went silent as Zodiac spoke. I saw my future with complete clarity. I finally understood why Clint had felt such certainty when he met Ivy. Or how my mom could trust her heart with a scary man like my dad.
Zodiac and I were always on a path to find each other. He would scare off any other woman. I’d push away any other man. We were both happy without a relationship. Now, we couldn’t imagine living apart.
ZODIAC
The property was ours after the desperate owners snatched up my lowball offer. I paid in cash. Escrow closed quickly. We hired a cleaning company to scrub the three houses from top to bottom. Landscape guys cut back the overgrown bushes and trees. I hired a company to clean the gated pool and install a canopy over it. Finally, we moved furniture and basics into the larger guest house.
Elle and Sutter were in a great mood for the first two weeks, while Ford and Shay stayed in the smaller guest house. My guys were often over at the house. Clint and Ivy came down, bunking on the floor of the living room. I wondered what would happen after the party atmosphere ended.
Sutter was the first to break. His grandparents left at ten in the morning. By ten that night, he was scared and flinching at every noise. Elle cuddled with him on the couch and called her parents.
“Are you missing us, bud?” Ford asked.
Sutter nodded and began to cry. That was the moment when I started to rethink my ability to be a family man.
