“That’s not what I’m saying. You’ve got a fucking metric ton of problems right now and this is where you want to put your time and energy? Do you want Rick to lose his fuckin’ mind?”
My expression closes down. He doesn’t want me, regardless of that bulge in his pants. He’s more worried about what my brother will think than anything to do with me. I’m hearing what he’s laying down loud and clear. This is a huge disappointment for me, but I accept it.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” Feeling my face grow hot with embarrassment, I tell him, “I’ve never really had any boyfriends before. My foster parents would never have allowed it. I like you, I thought you liked me. I’m sorry.”
When I turn and open the door to our suite, Rick is leaning against the interior door frame. “What the actual fuck is going on here?” he asks in an exasperated voice.
I just shrug. “I’m sure you heard everything. I’m going to bed now. I’ve had enough embarrassment in the last ten minutes to do me for a lifetime.”
Rick stammers, “Hey, I didn’t mean to demand answers.”
I walk right past him without stopping and head into the bedroom. I gently shut the door and stand quietly, listening to their conversation.
Rick raises his voice. “Fuckin’ hell, bro. Put that thing away.”
“Stop being a dramatic asshole. You know shit happens around beautiful women.”
“She’s fuckin’ off limits. How many times do I need to tell you that?”
“Just once.” There is a short pause and then Bear says, “Actually, you didn’t need to say it once. Do you think I don’t have eyes?”
Rick growls, “Apparently having fuckin’ eyes is what got you into this situation where you’re standing out in the hall talking to my damn sister with a chub.”
“That’s not what I fuckin’ meant and you know it. Nothing happened. Nothing’s gonna happen. End of.”
Suddenly, my brother is up in arms again. “I know you well enough to know when you’re fucking lying. Tell me you haven’t fallen in love with my fuckin’ sister, the one woman in the whole world that you were asked to stay away from?”
“Hell the fuck no, I haven’t. Because, unlike you, I’ve mastered the art of self-control.”
“Don’t poke me in the chest, asshole. You know I hate that shit, you haughty motherfucker.”
I know that I should go out and break it up. I hate to hear my brother arguing with his best friend. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m too disappointed with myself for coming between the two of them. Before I came along and threw a wrench into their lives, they had been best friends for years. I’ve barely been here a month and they’re at each other’s throats.
It makes me think that my foster parents were right. I’m not good. Wherever I go, trouble follows. Maybe working in that foster home is all I really deserve in life.
I stare at the door, hating what I’ve done. I will myself to get up and do the right thing.
Rick’s voice is muffled now, rougher. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but I hear a loud thump and a muffled groan from Bear, making me think Rick has him pinned against the wall or something along those lines. I hear a fist hit something solid. It makes me flinch.
Tears sting the back of my eyes because the two men I love most in the whole world are out there beating each other senseless because of me. I wipe at my eyes, refusing to cry. Crying is what I used to do when I was twelve, exhausted, hungry, and not a living soul in the whole world cared. Back then, crying never changed anything, and it won’t change anything for me now.
I force myself to get up and walk towards the door. The voices getting louder.
“You sorry ass motherfucker,” Rick snarls.
“I didn’t do any fuckin’ thing wrong,” Bear bites back. I don’t like how low and dangerous his voice sounds. “This is why you don’t have a fuckin’ bottom rocker. You can’t control your damn emotions.”
“Fuck you. This friendship has run its course.”
My stomach twists. I take a slow breath and force my lungs to work. I open the door in one swift movement.
Bear is on his back on the floor with Rick standing over him with a booted foot on his chest. Bear brings up two hands and with a mighty twist of his body, he literally spins my brother around, causing him to trip and fall face first onto the floor.
They both look at me at the same time as the door hits the wall.
Rick’s expression shifts first. His anger gives way to regret. “Natalie.”
“Stop it!” My voice comes out steadier than I feel. “Both of you. Cut it out, right this minute.”
