“I’ll be right there, Bonham.”
Kirby’s eyes seemed to flash at hearing her last name. She turned on her heel and headed toward the locker room. Mara felt breathless, and it wasn’t from the training.
She hurried through getting unhooked from the treadmill.
Coach Karlsson casually moved closer. “You good, Mara?”
“Of course. My hip is fine.”
“I wasn’t talking about your hip. You seem…” Coach Karlsson cocked his head like he was measuring his words carefully. “You did great in the ten-k. I’m proud of you.”
His words were a blow. They hit Mara out of nowhere. She wasn’t able to barricade herself from the way they made her feel. Coach Karlsson wasproudof her.
It wasn’t a phrase they used. Their coach-skier relationship was based on respect, goals, and improvement. Not gushy stuff like being proud. Coach Karlsson was the least sentimental person she knew. That was why they worked so well together.
“Thanks. I should have placed higher.”
“No. You did good.” He frowned. “You’re allowed to be happy, you know.”
Mara clenched her teeth to stop the rush of emotions. Happiness. Joy. Sadness.
Everyone wanted her to open her heart andfeel. And she just couldn’t. Because if she did, it would all snowball. The Olympics weren’t the place for an emotional awakening.
Mara nodded at Coach Karlsson, said goodbye to the others in the room, and went to find Kirby.
Kirby was alone in the locker room, looking at her phone. She’d taken her coat off, and Mara could see she was in one of the many Olympic uniforms they’d received. It was the one they were supposed to wear during interviews, so it was easy to assume that’s where Kirby had been. She had on makeup too. Her cheeks were sparkly.
“Hi,” Mara said, and Kirby jumped like she hadn’t realized Mara had come in.
“Hi.”
“Are you… Do you need something?” Mara asked. That was why Mara searched out Kirby. Because sheneeded.
Needed connection. Needed the heat and excitement and freedom of letting herself be fully herself. Needed release. Needed to fight.
But she had no idea what Kirby needed.
“No. I just—I don’t know,” Kirby said warily.
Mara sat beside her. It had been one hundred and forty hours since they’d spoken, and Mara had so much to say stored up inside her. But she couldn’t allow any of it to come out.
“I was watching our condom unboxing video earlier. I got asked about it in an interview. Got asked about you, of course,” Kirby said. She seemed reserved and aloof. It was strange.
“What did you say?”
“Something biting and off-color. You’ll hate it, which means you’ll also love it. But it wasn’t what I wanted to say.”
“What did you want to say?”
Kirby scooted closer, their hips touching. “That I can’t stop thinking about this.” She lifted her phone and pressed Play.
In the video, Kirby launched herself at a laughing Mara, pinning her to a couch in the lounge and kissing the hell out of her.
“Oh, God.” Mara could hardly watch. She’d known that was on video, that Kirby had a clip of it on her phone. But there were so many other things vying for attention in her brain that she’d barely given it a second thought.
“I’ve watched it a bunch of times,” Kirby said.
Mara frowned and looked at Kirby. “Are you okay?”
