But the isolation wasn’t working this time around. The quiet didn’t feel healing. It felt lonely and bad.
Mara stepped onto the ski treadmill. She didn’t love conditioning on the ski tread, much preferring to train on snow, but the coaches and physios were wanting to check her body alignment and hips. Her hip flexor had hurt since she’d finished the ten kilometer.
As she started skiing on the treadmill, she pulled her schedule up in her mind like a security blanket.
One day until Kirby raced the relay.
Five days until Kirby raced the team sprint with Brandilyn.
Nine days until the fifty-k.
One day. Five days. Nine days.
Kirby’s events. Her event.
She only had one Olympic race left.
“Focus, Mara,” Coach Karlsson said, voice clipped and gruff as always. “Try not to hide from the chance of pain when you activate that leg. You’re shying away because you think it might hurt.”
It was true.
She was hiding from the chance of pain. She was shying away from the possibility of being hurt.
Physically.
Emotionally.
“There. That’s better,” the physio said as Mara adjusted. “Feel okay?”
Her hip twinged at first, but then she pushed past it. She nodded.
After a few minutes, Coach Karlsson shut the ski treadmill down, and Mara caught her breath.
She looked up, and Kirby was across the room, leaning against the doorway, openly watching her.
Coach Karlsson followed Mara’s gaze and turned around. “Hello, KB. What are you doing here?”
“Checking out my competition.”
Kirby was layered up like she’d been outside. Her coat was black and luxe. She wasn’t dressed to ski, and Mara wondered where she’d been. And who she’d been with. And what she’d been doing.And, and, and.
Mara wanted to know everything.
“When will you be done, Mara?” Kirby asked. It was a neutral question asked with no emotions or teasing or hints.
Mara was used to the open, dramatic Kirby. Not this unreadable version.
“Now.”
Coach Karlsson looked between them. “What do you need, KB?”
Kirby shook her head and shrugged. “Nothing from you. I was hoping to chat with Mara.” Kirby pulled sunglasses off her head.Thesunglasses. The black ones Mara had bought her. Kirby spun them around her fingers deliberately. “I have some questions.”
Uncomfortable silence settled in the room.
Kirby had searched her out. Kirby hadfoundher. It had always been the opposite.
Mara’s heart started to race. Kirby was basically waving the sunglasses at Mara, and it couldn’t have been clearer what Kirby was asking for. What she needed.
