My teeth scrape over her bottom lip, and a whimper slips free.
I chuckle against her mouth and pull away. “If we don’t stop now, I’ll fuck you up against this barn, and that’s not how I wanted to take you for the first time.”
“Rain check?” she asks playfully.
“Dirty girl.”
Setting her back on her feet, I wrap my arms around her from behind and rest my chin on her head as we stare out atthe sunset in contented silence. A few pretty words and one scorching kiss won’t magically erase the barriers between us, I know that, but I owe it to both of us to make an effort. Callie deserves to know what it feels like to have a home and people who love her. I can give her that. I want nothing in exchange except for the peace she gives me without even trying.
She tilts her head to look at me. “Will… you tell me about Ryan someday?”
Apart from my family and Ryan’s parents, I've never told this story before, but Callie smooths my hard edges and makes me want to open up. Surrounded by her comforting warmth, I find the strength to speak. I tell her everything about the accident, leaving out only the most gruesome details.
When I’m done, she turns into me and presses a soft kiss against my neck. “Thank you for telling me.”
“I miss him,” I confess. “Sometimes I wish it had been me.”
It’s an unsettling admission—one I hadn't fully grasped the truth of until now.
Her soft hand slides across my beard, and she brings my gaze to hers. “He would want you to keep living.”
A spark of defensiveness ignites, and I look away. “You didn't know him.”
“He was your best friend. I don't have to know him to know he was a good man,” she says.
“One of the best men I've ever known. I envied him in a lot of ways. He had big dreams for his life.”
“You didn’t?"
“No. I was just starting to figure it out when I lost him. Once he was gone, none of it seemed to matter anymore.”
“And now?”
“Now it's all I can do to wake up in the morning. But you... you make it easier. I wake up every day in anticipation ofyou—of your smile and your laugh. My firstthought in the morning is, how am I gonna make Callie smile today? And when you do, god, how it lights up my entire world. I cherish each one, no matter how small, because I know how precious they are. I used to lie awake for hours, fearing the nightmares. Now, I'd gladly suffer through each one just to get on the other side of them so I can hold you again.”
Just when I think I've said too much, she takes my face in her hands and kisses me softly. Slowly. Reverently.
“Thank you,” she murmurs. “For telling me about him. For trusting me.”
“I’m sorry I tried to push you,” I whisper against her neck. “I’ll wait. As long as you need me to.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
“Then I guess I’ll just have to wait forever.” I press a kiss to her cheek and sway to a song that’s only playing in my head. “Can I take you somewhere?”
“That sounds ominous.”
For the first time since that night at the bar, I laugh. “Just trust me. I just have to make a quick stop at home first.”
Callie
With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my thigh, Jax drives us down an unfamiliar winding road over hills and through a wooded area. After what feels like an eternity, we come to a stop in an open swath of land under the shade of an old oak tree.
“Where are we?” I ask as he lays out a blanket on the grass.
“This is where we’re building the sanctuary.” He points down the road to a massive brick building with two large tanks on the side. It looks like it’s been there for decades. “That’s the distillery.”
“Wow. It’s a lot bigger than I expected.”
