If only my past could heal as quickly as the seasons change.
I’ve been avoiding Jaxon, coming and going at odd hours, so I don’t have to face the harsh reality of our situation—to face him.
I only remember splinters of what happened the other night, but it’s enough to make me want to hide away forever. Waking up in Jaxon’s bed with his warm body wrapped around mine felt so right, but I couldn’t let myself stay.
If I had, I would’ve fallen victim to his charm like I always do. I would’ve given in to our connection without considering the implications. I would’ve let myself fall, then suffer the consequences when we break. I can’t have another painful memory to add to the tattered tapestry of my meager existence.
As much as I’d love to belong to someone, I don’t have the capacity to heal us both, and it’s clear neither of us is ready to bear the other’s burdens. I won’t add Jaxon to my extensive list of failures.
Our jagged edges don’t fit together.
In another lifetime, one where I could find some way to fix what’s been broken, where our pasts weren’t buried beneath the rubble, maybe then we could be together.
I make it all the way back to the barn, stopping beside the fence to watch Copper gallop alongside the blond-ish one I think is named Phoenix. To have that kind of freedom must be so liberating.
The sound of footsteps on gravel catches my attention, and I lock eyes with Jaxon across the small road that separates us. My breath catches in my throat; I’m hyperaware of the distance between us. I stand frozen on the spot, torn between the instinct to run to him or run from him.
Jaxon makes the decision for me, closing the distance in four measured steps. My walls crumble the moment he reaches me. I was fooling myself to think I could ever resist him.
Jaxon
Two days, nine hours, and seventeen minutes: that’s how long it’s been since I set eyes on Callie Cooper. She had every right to make that choice for herself—to decide my damage was too much for us to overcome—but I’ll be damned if she’s going to disappear like that. She slipped out of my bed long before the first light of dawn, leaving nothing but the outline of her body on my sheets and her sweet scent lingering in the air.
I stopped by the big house to drop off some paperwork for Pops to sign, and I’m just about to head back home when I spot her walking along the fence with her shoes in her hands, oblivious to the fact that she’s being watched.
It takes less than five seconds to decide I’m done playing this game of cat and mouse. I’ve given her space, hoping time and distance would bring her back to me, but she’s stubborn as hell. If I don’t take matters into my own hands, she’ll be lost to me forever.
I move toward her. At that same moment, she turns. Did she somehow get more goddamn beautiful in the time we’ve been apart?
I make it across the road in a few short strides. “What exactly was your plan? Live in my house, sleep eight goddamn feet away from me, leave your fucking scent everywhere. Tempt me. Tease me. But never let me have you again?”
“Jax—” My name is little more than a breathy sigh.
“Before you give me some bullshit excuses, you’re going to listen to me, Callie Cooper.” I grip her hips and walk her backward until she’s pressed up against the side of the barn.
“I don’t get attached to people. I don’t let myselfwantanyone. So why do I want you so goddamn bad?” There’s an unexpected edge of desperation in my voice. “What is it about you? What spell did you cast to make me fucking need you this way? To make meburnfor you?”
Her fists curl in my shirt, instinctively drawing us closer. “Why?”
“Why do I want you?”
She nods. “I don’t understand.”
“You don’t see what I see. You don’t see the woman who built an entire life from scraps. Someone who’s so used to making herself invisible, she doesn’t know how to let herself be seen.”
“If you knew…”
“I don’t give a fuck about your past. I care about the woman standing in front of me right now.”
I need her to believe me, but it’s clear that a lifetime of pain has made her wary. I can see it in her eyes—she’s endured more hardship than any one person should have to bear. I wish I could carry it for her.
“I wouldn’t exist if not for my past, and neither would you,” she says.
“Maybe not, but it led us here. Do you want me, Callie? Be honest.” I cradle her face in my rough palms. “I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“Yes. Yes, I want?—”
I surge forward and claim the last word for myself, our lips meeting in a violent collision. The kiss is so filled with pent-up longing, she nearly loses her footing. I catch her around the waist and heft her up my body, so her legs wrap around me.
