The friendship. The self-esteem. The ambition for my future.
A new patient enters and whispers quietly to the nurse. I keep my eyes fixed to my hand, not wanting to embarrass the new arrival by scouting them as they find their place in the room.
A decision I regret the moment Seb takes the seat next to mine and grabs my hand.
Panic thumps into me like a horse kicking the centre of my chest. I stare at him in utter dismay; like he crawled straight from my nightmares.
“I wasn’t sure whether you’d make it on time,” he exclaims. Apparently for the benefit of the crowd because I have no idea what he’s talking about.
I snatch my hand away, fisting it in my lap so he can’t take it again as easily. In a second, the palm is slick enough that he wouldn’t want to. My hairline goes damp in sympathy while my heart stutters, then catches up with an extra heavy beat.
He nudges me in the ribs. “What’s the matter? Do you want me to pretend like I don’t know you?” He drops his voice deeper but keeps it at the same volume, much to the entertainment of the entire room. “After last night, I thought we were closer than that.”
I pointedly turn to look in the opposite direction, immediately catching the interested gaze of the boy from earlier, now halfway through checking me out again.
Goddamn it.
“We could be stuck an hour,” Seb continues, warm notes of amusement in his voice. Ah, yes. The continuing laugh-at-her-expense attitude is settling into place. “Are you really going to freeze me out for the whole time?”
I start to speak and my throat clutches. I dig a knuckle into my windpipe; instantly painful but it gets the job done. I try again, angling for breezy disinterest. “That’s the plan.”
That or running the hell out of here. The second option becomes more desirable with each passing moment.
Seb relaxes back into his chair while I lean forward, my stomach muscles tightening. The grin on his face would be inappropriate at the best of times and I’m appalled to see it winning him the same expression in return from all the other sad sacks littering this place.
Why can’t anyone else see him for what he is? See that the sparkle in his eyes is actually the hard glitter of a diamond saw.
As minutes pass, my body lets go of its stiffness, inertia pulling my muscles back to their usual relaxed state. I cup my hands over my knees, wishing I was alone so I could hug them to my chest, waiting for the doctor to call my name so I can get out of here and escape.
“Guess I should take you being here as a good sign,” Seb says, this time whispering rather than just pretending. “Since you’re concerned I passed something onto you, I guess you’re not already riddled with disease.”
It’s a fair point, and it cuts both ways, despite his tease last night about infecting me. But I don’t let the relief show. “Routine appointment to treat my invasive syphilis.”
Although I’m still not looking, desperately not looking, I catch the smile dancing across his face. A hard knot ties itself in my chest, using the materials to hand. I rub my palm between my tits, trying to work it free, but it just adds a flouncy bow.
“Don’t worry. My gonorrhoea will beat it into submission.” He reaches over, taking my hand again, this time in such a steely grip my fingers will snap if I tug them free.
It’s no gesture of friendship, though it probably appears that way to the room. He’s holding onto me, so I don’t run before he’s had his fun at my expense.
I know the drill all too well.
“Arsehole,” I mutter under my breath as he squeezes hard enough to make my bones ache.
“Liar,” he whispers back, dragging my hand to his mouth and planting his wet tongue on it under the guise of giving a kiss. When he rests it on the chair arm, there’s a snail trail of spit coating its back. Enough to turn my stomach if it wasn’t already seasick.
“What are you even doing here? This is for students only.”
“Nah,” he says, shooting me an award-winning smile. “It’s for people who can talk their mates into lending them access cards, too.”
Part of me wants to turn him in but I also don’t want to drag this encounter out any longer than it needs to be. Plus, there’s a roomful of bona fide students who probably wouldn’t appreciate me transforming into a gigantic narc.
A couple of nights, he said. That means he’ll be gone by Monday, and I can get back to my normal life. Maybe once he’s left for home, I can track down the friend he’s bunking with and plant a few false stories. Enough to give him pause if Seb ever asks to use his couch again.
My nerves have worn through by the time the doctor calls me in. When I stand, Seb comes too.
“May as well see her together,” he says when I hook an eyebrow at him in surprise. “After all, we’re exposed to the same things.”
The doctor shrugs and leaves the door to her consulting room open as I try to work out if I can win this fight. It’s embarrassing enough to be waiting in this place. An argument would just guarantee my name gets smeared all over campus.
