‘Of course. And we can play this however you want to with Zach. I’ll never breathe a word.’
‘Okay.’ Emily stood up straight. ‘Let’s do this.’
Upstairs, Lottie waited outside the bathroom door and felt uber conspicuous. If anyone came, she was the wrong end of the corridor to make a dash for her room, so she’d have to come up with some sort of an excuse for being there. She’d given Emily a hug before she’d gone inside the bathroom and that had been a few minutes ago, although it felt like a lot longer. Lottie tapped on the door. ‘You okay?’ she whispered.
‘I can’t go,’ came back the hushed response.
‘Ah,’ said Lottie. Having a wee was critical and doing it quickly was equally so. Lottie’s nerves couldn’t cope with the subterfuge of hovering outside the bathroom. If Zachcame up she’d probably spontaneously combust. ‘Put the tap on. And think of Niagara Falls.’
After a pause she heard the tap start inside. She waited some more.Oh come on, Emily, she thought. The suspense was killing her and now, thanks to the sound of running water, she needed a wee too. She was quite excited. She didn’t know if she’d ever get to do this herself, so it was nice to share in someone else’s milestone – even if they weren’t ecstatic about it.
A door opening downstairs had her on red alert. She did a high-speed tiptoe across the landing like a cartoon thief and was poised to dart into her bedroom if anyone should come up. She heard a scrabbling sound, and Dave appeared. Someone must have let him out of the drawing room but not thought to supervise him. He trotted up to Lottie and she gave him a pat. ‘Shhh,’ she told him, for no apparent reason, and then crept back to resume her position outside the bathroom with Dave in tow.
‘How’s it going?’ she asked in a stage whisper.
‘Good.’
What did that mean? The Duchess slunk out of Lottie’s bedroom and Dave bolted towards her. Lottie snatched him up and he began barking furiously. In the struggle, Lottie fell against the bathroom door with a bang. A yelp came from inside.
‘What’s happened?’ asked Lottie through the closed door. There was no answer. The Duchess hightailed it downstairs and the fight went out of Dave. He let out a yelp similar to Emily’s. ‘Emily, are you all right?’
The lock turned and the door opened a fraction. ‘You’d better come in,’ said a dejected-looking Emily.
‘Whatever’s wrong?’
Emily pointed at the toilet bowl and Lottie cautiouslypeered over the rim. Dave, still in her arms, had a look too and wagged his tail. There, floating in the toilet, was the pregnancy tester.
‘I dropped it when there was a bang on the door,’ said Emily, her eyes somehow seeming bigger.
‘Oh, sorry. That was me. And him.’ She turned Dave to face her; he was partly responsible too. They all stared at the white plastic stick floating in the loo. ‘Are you going to fish it out?’
Emily took a slow breath. ‘Ew,’ said Emily with feeling, reaching into the toilet and retrieving the tester. She dropped it by the sink and began washing her hands.
‘What did it say?’ asked Lottie.
‘It won’t work. The toilet’s full of loo Bloo.’ Frustration was evident in Emily’s voice.
A few seconds passed before Emily picked it up by the very tip and held it so they could all see. Dave was particularly interested and was sniffing wildly in the stick’s direction. Lottie focused on the little window.
‘What does two blue smudgy lines mean?’ asked Lottie.
Emily snatched up the packet from the side of the bath and checked the pictures. ‘Positive. It means I’m pregnant.’ Emily was rapidly turning the same colour as the pristine white towels behind her.
‘Or does it mean it’s been dropped in loo Bloo?’ asked Lottie. They had no way of knowing.
Emily sat on the edge of the bath with a thump. ‘But what if it still worked?’ Emily looked at her with frightened eyes.
‘Don’t worry, not all of the madness in the family is hereditary,’ said Lottie.
Lottie vigorously rang the handbell and herded everyone into the dining room, careful to tuck her toes out of the way of a high-speed Bernard. ‘Sorry, Button,’ he said, with a wave.
‘Do we have to sign a waiver form before eating, so we can’t sue you if the food kills us or something?’ asked Zach, chuckling along at his own joke. Lottie stuck her tongue out at him.
The sound of the front door opening and closing made everyone pause. Uncle Daniel slunk in and took his seat. Lottie was pleased to see he had come back.
‘Everything okay?’ she asked.
He wobbled his head. ‘I managed to catch her and we’ve had a bit of a chat. It’s all a bit of a mess. But the situation’s not irretrievable.’
