We aren’t friends.
Why does he have to pretend otherwise?
“Everyone seemed to have a good time,” I venture, since it seems like he expects me to say something.
When his faded eyes narrow, I can already hear what’s bound to be his response.No thanks to you.My daughter-in-law worried about you the entire day.My precious son had to be mildly inconvenienced by your presence.
Instead, he replies, “I have a new assignment for you.”
The man changes topics so fast it gives me whiplash.He also has a habit of dropping a bomb on a guy out of nowhere, like he wants to keep me unsteady.
“What can I do?”I ask, folding my hands in front of me.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but I gave Giulia permission to start college.She’ll be attending NYU three days a week starting Monday.”
And this involves me exactly how?“That’s a big step for her.”The little brat.She might as well wear a sign hanging from around her neck, announcing she craves a reaction from me.She practically stands on her head to get my attention, and there are times I would swear I look up at the house at night while walking the grounds and see her looking down at me.I’m not sure what it means, but it doesn’t give me a comfortable feeling.
And there’s another uncomfortable feeling that gripped me earlier, during the ceremony, which I watched from the back of the crowd.Giulia was beautiful in that pink dress, with her black curls gathered at the nape of her neck.A few of them were teased free by the breeze and grazed her skin, and it wasn’t until the newlyweds kissed for the first time that I realized I’d missed the whole ceremony while staring at her.
“It is,” he agrees, popping the top two buttons on his shirt and leaning back in the chair.He doesn’t look well, but that’s nothing compared to the way Dad’s health has deteriorated.I came back to the States and found a withered old man in his place.
He sighs again, then drops the bomb.“She’ll need a driver.Someone I can trust to take her into the city.Someone savvy enough to spot trouble a mile away.Do you understand what I’m getting at?”
Yes, I understand perfectly.He wants me to babysit.He wants me to make sure nobody gets too close to his precious little girl.For all I know, he wants me off the grounds as much as possible, since precious Luca and precious Emilia are uncomfortable with my presence.
He’s waiting for an answer, so I nod slowly.“Yes.I get the picture.”
“I’m counting on you to keep her safe and away from the wrong kind of people,” he adds, because evidently he thinks I’m too stupid to understand without having the point drilled into my head.“She’s the most important thing in my life, Alessandro.I need you to keep that in mind.”
“I will.”I arch an eyebrow, waiting for more, and can barely hide my relief when he dismisses me with a wave of his hand.Do I like being dismissed that way, without a word?Fuck no.But it means I can get out of this room and stop holding onto my unnatural, uncomfortable smile.
It slides from my face, and I let it drop, heading out through the front door rather than going back to the kitchen.I rented a small house nearby, less than ten minutes’ drive, and I have never been in such a hurry to get there.I have to get away from this place and all the people in it.Recharging after a day full of playing nice and pretending to be happy has wiped me out more thoroughly than anything ever has.
Gravel crunches under my feet, and somehow I manage not to run for my car.Days like this test me, to put it mildly.Nodding to a handful of guards, I unlock the door of my Maserati and only release the breath I was holding once I’m seated behind the wheel.
I can think now.
I can breathe easier.
Though I haven’t breathed easy since that fateful dinner two months ago when Dad threw me to the wolves.It wasn’t until afterward, when we were alone, and I could finally voice my feelings about him blindsiding me, that he dropped the bomb.
As I roll through the gates and take a left toward home, I remember confronting him in the car and the bombshell that rocked me to my core.“I know you think I’m some foolish, dying old man, but I still have a trick or two up my sleeve.”Resting in the seat after hours spent pretending to be healthier than he is, he turned his head slowly to look at me with contempt.“You might have your sister fooled into thinking you only came back here for her sake, but we both know that that’s not true, don’t we?”
I shudder now at the memory.It’s so fresh and vivid, the sense of having ice water poured over my head.“What do you think you know?”I asked, trying to play it off.
“Let’s just say it was in your best interest to get the hell out of Italy and put an ocean between you and the family of the man you killed.And don’t bother lying because I have it on good authority.”Clicking his tongue, he sighed.The sound carried disappointment built up over more than thirty years of my life.“If you want to keep your head attached to your neck, you will do whatever it is Rocco and his family tell you to do.Otherwise, I will wash my hands of you and make sure everyone on the East Coast does the same.Got me?”
As I roll down quiet, darkened roads, I still can’t decide whether the bargain I made was worth it.Am I this desperate to live?Subjugating myself to people who are beneath me and always have been?
And now I have to play driver tothat brat.
The only positive I can find in the situation is knowing how it will irritate her, being forced to spend time with me.
Once again, I see how far I’ve fallen.The best I can hope for now is to irritate an eighteen-year-old and deprive an older woman of a cocktail.
“You’ve come a long way, Alessandro,” I mutter to myself while my foot presses harder on the gas pedal, and I wish like hell I could outrun the consequences of the choices I’ve made.
3
