“How is your knight in shining armor today?”Olivia asks, making Serena giggle.
So much for being distracted away from him.“I really don’t get your obsession,” I tell them, shaking my head.“He’s not a knight in shining armor.Believe me.”
“What is it about him that makes you hate him like you do?”Serena props her chin on one hand, narrowing her eyes like I’m a puzzle she’s trying to solve.
I really wish she wouldn’t do it.Why does having friends have to be so complicated?“He helped me out last week, sure.But believe me, there’s a reason he works for my family, and it’s not because he’s a good driver.He’s sort of repaying a debt.He’s not a nice guy,” I conclude.
So stop crushing on him, for fuck’s sake.I can’t say it out loud, even if I almost scream it in my head.I don’t want to come out and tell them the truth for all sorts of reasons.We don’t talk about family business with outsiders, for one thing.It’s not my story to tell, for another.It’s Emilia’s, and I don’t think she would like it if I spilled the tea to girls she’s never even met.
“A bad boy.Even better,” Maddie decides, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“I swear, I’m going to need a new driver if you don’t quit it,” I grumble while they tease and laugh.This is how it’s always going to be, having civilian friends outside the bubble I was raised in and still live in, deciding what I can and can’t share, and second-guessing myself, choosing my words carefully.Sometimes, there will be things I can’t explain and ideas I’ll have to let them run with because correcting them would mean going into detail.
In other words, it’s exhausting.
“What does he do all day while you’re in class?”Olivia plays with her straw, gazing out toward the street like she’s looking for him.“Does he just sit in the car and wait?”
“I really don’t know,” I lie.Why won’t they let it go?“Did you finish the reading for class?I didn’t go to bed until two.My eyes were burning.”
She’s not in the mood to be distracted.“Yeah, I finished it.Have you ever even thought to ask him?He must be bored all day.”
Yes, let’s definitely pull out the tiny violin and play a song for his sad situation.“I don’t know.It sounds like a pretty comfortable gig to me.”
It’s a relief when Serena asks, “What are you doing this weekend?”
A little burst of excitement sizzles through me.“My brother and his wife get back from their honeymoon tomorrow.We’re going to have a family dinner to welcome them back, and she said she’s bringing back a few things for me.”I’ve been looking forward to them coming home.Things are way too quiet without Emilia around.I didn’t understand until she left for two weeks how much I depend on her.
But then life looked different before the wedding.I didn’t have anything else beyond her and Sophia.Since then, I’ve made friends, gotten drunk, and even thrown up on a random street corner.I mean, I’ve lived.I have stories of my own to tell.
There are some stories I could never find the words to share.I wouldn’t even know where to begin, especially when I consider Emilia’s history with Alessandro.
Jesus Christ.What the fuck am I thinking?
There’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of by the time we get up from the table to head inside for class.It will be much easier to remember exactly who Alessandro is and what he’s all about once Emilia is back home.All I have to do is look at her to remember what he’s capable of.
The warm, sunny morning suddenly feels awfully cold and dark.I’m basically a traitor, aren’t I?Spending the past week fighting off the memory of his arms around me and his heart beating under my ear when I first woke up.How nice that was, even if I felt like deep-fried dog shit at the time.
I have no business looking at him as anything more than the enemy.If anything, now I know better than to put myself in a situation where I’m indebted to him.I guess I’m lucky.It could have been a lot worse.
And I’m lucky in another way.He hasn’t brought it up since.Not a word, no snarky reminders.No threats to rat me out unless I act a certain way or treat him better.In other words, nothing I would expect from a lowlife like him.
Dammit.This was all so much easier when he wasn’t a person.I wonder if Papa would pick another driver if I asked him nicely, rationally.
All I know is, I have to try.
Because the more time I spend with Alessandro, the harder it is to remember why I can’t let myself like him.
8
ALESSANDRO
The blaring car horn disturbs the otherwise idyllic peace and quiet on the Santoro estate.It’s a beautiful Monday morning, with a coolness in the air that’s welcome after a long, hot summer.I’m sure we’ll have a few more weeks of warmth, but this is a nice reprieve.
Maybe I should be grateful to Giulia for giving me the chance to enjoy it while I wait for her, but gratitude has never been my go-to.Instead, I reach through the car’s open window and press the horn again, letting the sound drag on until one of the guards up at the front door gives me a sour look.There was a time I would have carved his eyes out of his skull with a spoon for looking at me that way.
All it takes is the memory of a bloated body bobbing face-down at my feet to snap me out of it and remind me of another split-second decision that could come back to haunt me.I couldn’t have imagined how pulling the trigger that night on the yacht would ripple through my life for months to come.How it would influence even the most mundane choices.Such as the choice to take this job rather than bolt the way I would have if there weren’t the threat of retribution hanging over my head.
The fuck is she doing up there?Taking my phone from my pocket, I confirm she hasn’t sent a message saying she’s sick or that there’s been a change in the schedule.That would be too much like a fundamental consideration.I’ll have to remember this the next time I’m tempted to cover for her bratty ass.I don’t expect her to get on her knees and thank me every time we’re together, but she could at least be punctual after I made it possible for her to get away with herbig night out.
