There was a pause, “He stays away from me these days.”
“I… yes, I suppose he does. It was wrong for him to… to do what he did,” her voice dropped low with grief and censure. “I told him to train you, not to…”
“He hates me. He always has. He always will,” Declan’s younger voice said. “Maybe he’s right to.”
“What?” Ashryn’s voice rose in distress. “No–”
“We’re only here because of me. We only had to leave home because of me–”
“No, my dearest. It wasn’t because of you. You have done nothing wrong,” she said and her voice sounded closer somehow as if it was being spoken in his ear.
He could hear the rustle of her clothes. She was holding him. She had been holding him when she said those words. His heart lurched in his chest. He swore he smelled her perfume. Night flowers. Incense. His eyes closed and tears flowed for a moment.
His younger voice was thick with emotion as he said, “But we’re only here because Vex–”
“Don’t say his name! Not here! Please, my darling son, please,” she whispered in alarm.
Declan swore he felt her arms tighten around him as if a vise.
“I’m sorry! I–”
“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be. This is all my fault. I should have left long ago. I should have… Well, where we’re going you’ll be safe,” she murmured against the side of his head. He could feel the heat of her breath in his hair. More of her perfume filled his nostrils. “The Sun King Ailduin has been reborn. And he will keep you safe. I know it.”
Ailduin? Declan felt like he’d been struck dumb for a moment. Vex kept calling Aquilan by that name. He played it off as a mistake, but…
“But I thought the Aravae hate us,” Declan’s younger self sounded uncertain.
“Not Ailduin. Long ago, he was our greatest protector. Our king as much as… He will help us. He will protect you with all he has. I promise, my son, that you will live a life under the Sun. A good life. A brilliant life. Where you will be loved. I do not know if it can make up for everything that has come before, but–”
“Mother,” Declan’s younger self breathed, “so long as we are together, it will be more than enough.”
Declan’s tongue clove to the roof of his mouth. They had not been together. He had not even remembered her until this year. How long ago had she died? How could he have forgotten her so completely? Not even when he had looked at his beloved adopted mother Alexia had he imagined another face over hers. There had been nothing. His mind was a blank slate.
“Oh, Rahven, I do not deserve you. But I will give everything to try and earn your love,” she murmured and he felt the press of her lips against his forehead and cheeks as she kissed him again and again as if to make up for all those times she had held back and not done so in the past.
“You already have it, Mother. I have always loved you. I always will,” his younger self sounded so calm and certain in that moment.
Declan swayed. Tears ran down his cheeks. His heart felt sick in his chest. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe. Something bad was going to happen. Ashryn had died.
Here.
He couldn’t remember how.
But it was going to happen.
Would he hear it?
Would he feel it?
“Why did we have to come to Illithor?” Declan’s younger self asked. “Won’t V… he be able to find us here better than anywhere else? It’s his city, isn’t it?”
“Ailduin had a secret way to get to the Under Dark from the Lieran Plane near here. It is the only way to get there without… Well, without great danger. I just need to adjust the wards a little to let us slip through,” Ashryn explained. “But if I adjust them too much, he might know we’re here and… come.”
“Oh. So the wards are to keep the rifts closed from here to the Lieran Plane?” his younger self asked.
“Not exactly. There is another plane that separates the Under Dark from the Lieran Plane,” she explained.
“Ear-rath?” his younger self said uncertainly.
