“Patient Two exhibiting severe hysteria. Check menstrual cycle,” Meridei says as she takes notes on a clipboard.
“Just wait a second, please! I don’t want to forget!” I try my best to shake my head and clear my eyes of the rush of tears. “Please, I’ll doanyother treatment. Please!”
Krimson, please don’t let me forget you! I can’t forget my twin.
I gather the memories like a trove of sacred gems in my mind. I see the rabbit Krimson got for his fourth birthday. I threw a fit when I saw him hug that white rabbit, and all I got was a silly porcelain doll. Uncle Warrose made a white rabbit for me, and Aunt Ruth stitched my name into its lucky foot.
I remember the day I fell on the cobblestone street and cut open my knee trying to keep up in a race between Krimson and Niklaus. I dropped my head back and screamed. Uncle Niles scooped me up before I could have a full meltdown. He cleaned my knee in a nearby boutique, patched me up, and kissed the bandage. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held me until I fell asleep. His shirt smelled like soap and candles.
I read my mother’s journal once after I told her I wished she was in the coma instead of my dad. The page was stained with tears. She told my dad in her letter to him how much she loved me, and she knew I didn’t mean what I said…but my words still cut her so deeply.
“Please, please, ple—” A folded cloth is shoved into my mouth. My screams are muted. The room spins. The sconces flicker. Tears gush down my temples. And I see her face, the black eyebrows, pursed lips, powdery white face as she glowers down at me. Prongs slide along the sides of my head. And even though I buck like a wild stallion, I don’t move through time.
I’m stuck here.
We’re stuck here.
And because of me, I could lose the most precious moments in my life. I could forget my home. We might never make it out. We might stay here until the place burns down.
“…two, three!” Meridei counts down, flipping a switch that cuts my thoughts off.
I see the room in flashes as the world erupts in white. Blackouts occur in pulses. A sharp iron rod impales me, from my skull, through my spine, down to my toes. I’m levitating off the chair, back arching, neck curling backward. My veins bulge into my throat, pumping something thicker than blood back to my arteries.
It feels like hours.
Neverending.
No oxygen coming in and out.
Indescribable pain.
I’m turned to stone on a bed of hot coals in this humming, buzzing, quaking room around me. A fierce web of lightning threads itself into my brain, burning through my thoughts, feelings, memories,soul.
I am a puppet convulsing under unseen strings.
And as my spine bows upward a little harder, I worry my ribs will snap under the strain—that cage of bones cracking clean apart.
“Very good!” Meridei purrs.
Emptiness. The lighting flickers off in my brain. The noise falls flat. And I collapse against the chair in a sweaty, heaving, aching mess of copper hair and a white gown.
Faintly, over my own heavy breathing, I can hear Niklaus grunt next to me.
“I’ll give you a few minutes to rest,” Meidei says, walking toward the door. She pauses and looks back at Niklaus. “Unless you’d like to me stay and help you recover?”
I don’t have it in me to feel the rage I felt before. I’m exhausted. I’m petrified. I’m completely empty and confused.
“No,” he grits out.
“Very well.” The door opens, and she steps out.
As I close my eyes, I attempt to summon the last few minutes. But there’s nothing there besides the bolts of white sparks that ricocheted across my skull. I focus on my limbs straining against the leather straps digging into my skin. Where was I before I sat in this spot? Who was I just talking to?
I want to remember. I know that much. But what was I trying so hard not to forget?
A pair of fingers tickle my knuckles.
“Tell me your name,” a deep, scratchy male voice commands.
