“Mmm,” Meridei moans. “And here?” She runs both her hands over the straps on his upper thighs.
I turn away, trying to summon that numb sensation that lets me dissociate from the ache that’s curling around my lungs like a venomous snake. It’s hard to retract into myself though, to go somewhere deep into the forest of my mind. They’re right next to me. Our chairs are pushed against each other. I tighten my elbow against my body to keep from touching his.
Niklaus laughs again. “I see what you’re doing.”
I’m filled to the brim with hard shards of ice.
Breathe.
“You’re awfully quiet over there, Miss Valdawell,” Meridei taunts.
I keep my mouth plastered shut. If I speak, I might cry.
“Sapphire S. Valdawell. That’s what your file says. What does the S stand for?” She waits, but I remain unmoving. “Or could your parents just not decide?”
“My mother couldn’t decide.”That’s only half true.
“And she didn’t realize you’d get made fun of for that I bet.”
I slide my glare to Niklaus. Because she’s right, what my mother didn’t anticipate was that Niklaus Demechnef would be that person to find any little thing to tear me down with.
Even my middle name.
“We’re starting out with Electroconvulsive Therapy, due to the nature of your delusional disorders. This helps to reset your disturbed neuropathways. Your illnesses are a combination of your nervous system misfiring and being weak-minded, which allows the devil to influence your thoughts.”
I’d laugh if I wasn’t so terrified.
“And how will we feel after this?” I ask.
“Memory gaps. Disoriented. Docile. But the confusion you feel will help break up the scaffolding of delusions.”
Memory gaps? I look to Niklaus with a surge of panic rupturing through my calm, meditative state.
“We could lose our memory?” Niklaus glances back to me without moving his head.
“Why?” There’s a smile in Meridei’s taunting voice. “Are you afraid you’ll forget about the lack of intimacy in your marriage?”
My breathing comes hard and fast.
We can’t forget! I can’t afford to lose any memories of where we’re really from!
“How bad are the memory gaps?” I say breathlessly.
“I’ve seen wives forget their husbands. I’ve seen mothers forget their children.” Meridei adjusts her circuit board, taking great interest in my sudden rise in panic.
My eyes dart to Niklaus again as they fill up with tears.
Krimson. DaiSzek. Grandpa. Mom. My father. Uncle Warrose. Aunt Ruth. Aunt Marilynn. Uncle—
I gasp, suffocating on the tears. “Uncle Niles!”
Niklaus stiffens.
“We can’t forget him! Oh god, we can’t leave him there!” I’m blubbering now. Unable to focus on a plan to get the hell out of this mess. Unable to calm myself long enough to think of a way out. The sobs rack my body uncontrollably. I’m scared like a child left alone in the dark. I’m in a small boat, drifting into a cloud of fog and mist over the sea, knowing I’ll never return to shore again.
“Spitfire…” Niklaus whispers.
Doesn’t he care?! Doesn’t he want to save his dad from Vexamen before Aunt Ruth made it a better place?
