“Isn’t this what this is? Your misguided sense of responsibility won’t let you leave a woman in need of protection. Unfortunately for you, you started banging that woman back when you thought this was going to be an easy in-and-out, no-strings-attached situation, and now that that’s changed, you don’t have the balls to tell me that this arrangement no longer works for you. But I’ll let you in on a little secret,Cole. I’d rather take my chances with Jason than have you continue to pity-fuck me.”
“Pity-fuck you?” I parrot as I pin her with an incredulous look.
“That’s right. Pity-fuck. You know?” she sneers, eyes blazing fire. “When you keep fucking someone because you don’t know howto end things, and taking one for the team just seems easier than being honest.”
A disbelieving laugh bubbles out of me. “First of all, nothing about this situation is easy, Charlie, or else I wouldn’t be agonizing over it the way I am. Secondly, in my thirty-eight years on this planet, I haven’t once pity-fucked a woman, and I’m not about to start now.” I wait for her to meet my eyes because I want her to see the truth behind my words when I say, “I fuck you because I want to. That part is simple enough.”
“Then why are you avoiding me? And please don’t patronize me and tell me I’m crazy. I’ve had enough of that to last me a fucking lifetime.”
Taking a calming breath, I run a hand through my damp hair.Guess we’re having this conversation now.
“Because I see the way you look at me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, propping her hands on her hips while she sends me an affronted glower.
“You’re the one who wants to have this out, sweetheart, so let’s not bullshit each other. You know exactly what I mean.”
Her lips press into a thin line, but she doesn’t back down. I have to give it to her. Most women who have experienced domestic violence are timid and tend to avoid confrontation. But my Tink is not like most women.
She’s a firecracker.
A fighter.
A woman who’s decided she’s taken enough crap from the male species, and isn’t afraid to speak her mind, and I’ve never been more proud of her.
“Okay, so the way I look at you has changed. It’s the natural progression of things, Cole. We used to be strangers who happened to be attracted to each other. We’re not strangers anymore. We’re friends, and our situation is unique. The fact that we’ve pretty much been joined at the hip since Jason made his presence known forced us to get to know each other pretty well, pretty damn fast, and I’ve come to care about you. Is that really so bad?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Charlie.” Her brows pinch together. “If we keep going down this road, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. The longer we keep doing this, the more attached you’ll get. You’re not the type of girl who’s content with a casual hook-up.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because you and I are the same.” That seems to take the wind out of her sails, for her expression softens. “I’m not like Maddox, who prefers the simplicity of a one-night stand and has no problem separating the physical from the emotional. I’ve never been satisfied with a one-and-done. I had been with Elena since I was sixteenyears old. I don’t do sex without a connection. I can feel myself falling for you, and I can’t let that happen. Trust me when I say you don’t want to fall in love with someone like me, either.”
“Someone honorable and caring?”
“Someone broken,” I say, meeting her gaze head-on and willing her to see the truth behind my claim. “Someone who may never be able to give you his whole heart because part of it will always be stuck in the past. You deserve someone who can give you all of him, Charlie. Someone who can love you unconditionally, and I’m afraid that’ll never be me.”
Her shoulders sag, and all the fight leaves her body before she turns her head to the side, staring out the window and giving me a perfect view of her side profile. She looks so damn sad and, in that moment, I hate myself for putting that dejected look on her face. This is exactly what I’ve been trying to avoid all along. I hate seeing her like this. A woman like her should be cherished and worshipped every second of every day. We’re not even in a relationship, and I’m already causing her pain. Somewhere along the way, Charlie started to want more, and it’s my fault for feeding into her desires.
“It wasn’t too long ago you asked me what my expectations were. Do you remember what I told you?” she asks, still refusing to meet my eyes.
“You said you knew what you were getting yourself into when this first started and that you’re aware we have an expiration date.”
“What if I told you that nothing has changed?” Ever so slowly, like she’s dreading my answer, she turns back to face me. I inhale a fortifying breath and make sure my voice is firm when I say, “Then I’d tell you that I didn’t believe you then, and I don’t believe you now.”
She studies me for a long, uncomfortable moment before she whispers something I can barely hear, but the words that reach me cause an ache in my chest just the same.
“Then maybe it’s best if you go back to your own life.”
“You know I can’t do that!” I growl with a hint of irritation.
“And why can’t you?” she snaps, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow as she pins me with a look that suggests she’s about done with this tedious conversation. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. My safety is not your responsibility. I know you think I’m some helpless girl who can’t look after herself, but I’ve survived Jason for years, and I’m not alone. The police are aware, and I know for a fact that Chief Moseley is a good, honest man who would never be tempted by Jason’s dirty money.”
“Whether or not he’s a good man is irrelevant, Charlie. You heard what he said the last time we spoke. Sending his pals after you to deliver a message isn’t enough to arrest Jason, and those picturescan’t be traced back to him. In other words, he can’t act until he does something to harm you. It’s the way our flawed justice system works, and I can’t let that happen. I care about you too much.” I place my half-empty cup on the windowsill beside me and gentle my tone to make her see reason. “You saw the state of that station. Most of these guys have never faced more than a fucking traffic violation. Chief Moseley is so desperate for someone competent to take over once he retires, he’s offered a literal stranger a job. You honestly think knowing the local police is aware of your situation is gonna help me sleep at night when you’re halfway across the country with no one to look out for you?”
“And what are you going to do, Cole? Stick around and work yourself to the bone in an effort to stay out of my apartment and, more importantly, out of my bed? What if he never shows up? What if this is all just a sick game to him, and he’s getting a rise out of tormenting me from afar for the rest of my life? How long is your boss going to give you leeway before he demands a decision? Are you going to give up your career to babysit me?”
“I don’t know,” I snap, scrubbing a hand down my face. “I don’t have any answers. All I know is that I’m not leaving you until I know you’re safe.”
