“A loss is a loss, Charlie. Don’t dismiss your feelings because you believe he’s had it worse.”
I flash Dee a grateful smile.
“The question is, what are we going to do about these guys?” she asks while she once again tops off our drinks.
“Nothing we can do but enjoy them while we can and cherish the memories. And then we dust ourselves off and go on living. We’re survivors, Dee. We’ve both overcome great tragedies. A couple of hot dudes won’t be our downfall. I refuse to be that girl.”
“To strong, independent women,” she says, lifting her glass in a toast.
“To the bad bitches we are,” I tag on, as I once again clink my wine to hers with a determined gaze. But deep down, I already know getting over Cole Foster will be anything but easy.
twenty-seven
Cole
Iswipe a forearm across my face to keep the sweat from dripping into my eyes before I focus on cutting the next piece of vinyl. I figured ripping up carpet and installing that click flooring that took me half a day to haul up here would be enough to distract me. Get her out of my head for five goddamn minutes. It didn’t.
I have got to figure out this situation with her ex and get out of this town before we get into it too deep.
Hell, who am I kidding? Charlie and I moved past the point of no return weeks ago. It snuck up on me, but I knew I was in trouble when I realized I had a hard time falling asleep without her there to hold onto. I love the way her back fits against my front so seamlessly. Like a couple of perfectly cut puzzle pieces. Ilove waking up to her sprawled across my chest, enveloped by her vanilla scent as her fiery tresses tickle my nose. I’m aware of it every time she cuddles into my side as we watch some mind-numbing movie I’m only half paying attention to, because all I can think about is how to get her underneath me. But it’s the little things that cemented it for me. Like the way she quietly sings to herself in the kitchen, with that sweet, sultry voice that never fails to catch my attention, as she prepares yet another dish that is sure to blow my mind. The way her forest-green eyes glaze over when I’m choking her with my cock. She looks so fucking good on her knees in front of me while she moans and rubs her thick thighs together, like giving me pleasure turns her on so much she has to make a conscious effort not to come.
Moving into her place and being around her 24/7 was a necessary precaution, but it makes it impossible to stay objective, and I know I’m not the only one who’s quickly developing feelings we shouldn’t be harboring. I see the way she looks at me when she thinks I’m not paying attention.
It’s the small, seemingly insignificant gestures that speak louder than any declaration of love ever could. Like the way she prepares my morning coffee just the way I like it, or how she’s taken to always keeping a full tray of ice cubes in the freezer compartment of her fridge because she knows I love a frigid glass of water aftermy morning runs. She no longer adds mushrooms to her favorite recipes, all because I made a comment once claiming they taste like dirt. She’s falling for me, and short of turning into a total dick, I simply don’t know how to stop it.
I refuse to treat her with anything less than respect, given the shit her ex has put her through, but I know I can’t let this go on for much longer. I’ve already called in several favors in an attempt to push the club president into making a reckless move. From slapping him with petty traffic violations to having his clubhouse searched on a very questionable warrant. I made sure he knows who’s responsible for the sudden interest in him and his shady associates, but so far, he hasn’t taken the bait.
Meanwhile, I’ve made it my mission to find out everything there is to know about Jason Markham. From his middle name to the way he prefers his steak—rare, like the animal he is—down to the exact time he takes his morning dump. The guy has a rap sheet a mile long, but nothing major ever stuck. He’s a wily little fucker, I’ll give him that, and from what Charlie’s told me, it seems he’s got several dirty cops in his pocket.
A few days ago, he left an envelope pinned beneath the windshield wipers of her car. Charlie was visibly shaken when she returned home to show me photograph upon photograph of her during various activities, both on and off the property. Iimmediately took her down to the local police station and had her file a report, just to have the incident properly documented. Then I made some calls and had him placed under twenty-four-hour surveillance.
My guy checks in with me several times a day, keeping me informed of Jason’s whereabouts, which makes me feel gradually better about the way I’ve been distancing myself. Taking over material runs and staying in town longer than necessary in an effort to avoid her. Keeping myself busy fixing up cabins and picking those furthest away from the ones she has to turn over in time for new guests to arrive. Getting home late, so I don’t have to sit across the table from her at dinner time. Watching TV until the early morning hours, so she’s already asleep by the time I slip into bed. Or hiding out in the bedroom, feigning interest in the latest thriller I’ve borrowed from the local library when she’s already taken over the couch. Charlie’s not stupid. She knows something’s up, but she hasn’t yet worked up the courage to confront me about it.
Despite my best efforts to create space between us, there are times when the temptation simply becomes too great to resist. Just this morning, I woke up to her grinding that luscious ass into me and before I was even fully conscious, my dick had already slipped into her perfectly slick pussy. I swear he has a mind of his own. Like a heat-seeking missile, searching for its target before hitting homeon autopilot. I can’t get enough of her, and the absolute chokehold that woman has on me scares the shit out of me.
I’ve always prided myself on my self-control. My level-headed nature and my ability to keep my wits about me. But it all seems to go out the window when it comes to Charlie. I keep telling myself I’m itching to end this to spare her feelings, but the truth is, I’m trying to protect myself as much as her. If I stay here longer than absolutely necessary, I may never leave.
Losing Elena just about killed me, and the thought of falling in love again is terrifying. I’m not sure I’ll ever be willing to truly open myself up again, and Charlie’s too precious for me to keep stringing along. She deserves more than an emotional cripple who’s too afraid to put his heart on the line.
In another life, we could’ve been great together. Had I met Charlie before I ever laid eyes on my wife, I’m convinced we’d be married and deliriously happy by now. But I didn’t. Instead, I had the good fortune to fall in love with one of my best friends. A woman who gave me everything I ever dreamed of, including my beautiful little girl. And now I’m left with nothing but a giant festering hole where my heart used to be, and I can’t seem to make sense of a world where they no longer exist. I’m still reeling, and my growing feelings for Charlie don’t align with my grief. It’sconfusing and frustrating, and it’s become almost impossible to tell right from wrong.
I can’t think straight when I’m around her, which is precisely why I need to leave. The problem is, until Jason can be dealt with, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t leave her unprotected. The thought of hiring someone to look out for her has crossed my mind. The thing is, when it comes to the woman who has my stomach in knots, I don’t trust anyone but myself. So, here I am, once again working myself into exhaustion, and pouring all my energy into renovating a place I have no stake in, just to stop myself from sinking into her willing body every chance I get. Because each time I do, she feels a little more like mine.
twenty-eight
Cole
“There you are. Brought you a latte from Dee’s. Figured you may need the extra caffeine today, seeing as you were up with the sunrise this morning.” Charlie holds out the paper cup in offering, and I abandon the floorboard I’m working on to snatch it out of her hand like it’s liquid gold. I take a sip and make a sound of appreciation when the rich taste of vanilla and caramel hits my taste buds. I used to be a black coffee type of guy. But ever since Dee took it upon herself to findmy drink, I’ve come to look forward to whatever concoction she whips up for me whenever one of us drops by.
“This is delicious. Thanks,” I say and force myself to hold her scrutinizing gaze.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Charlie sighs like my answer disappoints her. “You know I’m not simple-minded, right? I may not have the kind of training or the same instincts as you, but I’m more perceptive than you give me credit for. You don’t think I notice this weird energy between us?” When I don’t confirm or deny, she throws her hands up in the air. “Just tell me what the hell is happening here, Cole? Don’t treat me like I’m some clingy airhead who can’t take a hint. If you’re not attracted to me anymore, just say so. I’m a big girl with thick skin. I can handle the truth.”
“What are you even talking about?”
