Liam leans back, head against the wall. His throat works like he’s swallowing something distasteful.
“He’s too polite to ask,” I continue. “He won’t push you, but I don’t think for a minute he doesn’t know something’s going on. At the very least between you and Linus. It’s weird to keep this from him. Really fucking weird.”
I wait.
No reaction.
“How about I put this a different way. I’m not willing to hide anymore.” I decide to speak from my heart and let the chips fall. “Not from anyone. I’m suffocating, Liam. I don’t want to live like this. I’m not some scorned woman. This band isn’t Fleetwood fucking Mac.”
He balks. It’s small, but I see it.
Linus moves closer, settling into the arm of the couch beside me. His hand brushes my neck.
“She’s not wrong,” he says gently. “It’s killin’ her. It’s killin’ me. Can’t we rip off the Band-Aid?”
“It’s killin’ me too.” Liam buries his face in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. If I fuck this up—”
“We held a commitment ceremony, Liam,” I remind him. “It might have been private between the three of us, but we all made a vow. Trust me. The only way you fuck things up is if you let fear win.”
Liam sits up. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Itiseasy.” I cross my arms.
“Fuck me,” Linus swears under his breath. “This has to stop. You’re already are part of us, Liam. He’ll understand.”
Linus leans over to kiss him but Liam moves his face away.
A second later, Padraig bounds through the door with a wide grin, arms full of energy drinks. “Anyone thirsty?”
We all sit up straighter.
I shake my head at Padraig. “Thanks, I’m gonna make some hot tea with lemon and honey for my voice.”
“Next vocal track’s yours.” He points to Liam. “You ready?”
Liam nods and enters the vocal booth.
“By the way.” Padraig lingers near the couch for a beat. Looks between Linus and me. “You two are solid. Like, rock-solid, yeah?”
My breath catches.
Linus nods once, then puts his arm around me. “We are.”
“Good,” Padraig addresses Linus, but flicks his eyes to his brother. “Liam needs solid.”
I sit frozen, pulse in my throat.
Linus squeezes my shoulder. His touch is warm, but my heart feels cold.
Padraig knows. He’s probably always known. He’s waiting. Protecting Liam the way Liam protects him.
I watch Liam get settled, headphones in place, head bowed, waiting for the track to start. The beat kicks in. He doesn’t look at us. But I hear it. Every single thing he’s isn’t able to tell his brother comes out through the words he sings, and how he sings them.
His phrasing is breathtaking.
All I can hope is he can conquer his demons soon.
I won’t live in the shadows much longer.
